Kev: What about bees?
Cassidy: Bees. Did you just say bees?
Kev: Yeah, like on Wicker Man. Put a cage around his head and release the bees.
Cassidy: Christ.
Hoover: I vote stabbing.
Cassidy: Look, the Wicker Man is a brilliant film, but we're talking about killing a man here, Kev.
Kev: I know.
Cassidy: No, you don't! Look, where are you even gonna get bees from? What, you have ready access to bees all of a sudden? You a beekeeper now, are you?
Kev: Yeah, I am.
Cassidy: You are?
Kev: Yes.
Cassidy: Beekeeper...? All right. Apologies. I'm sorry. It's actually...it's a brilliant idea, we'll go with the bees. Do you wanna do the bees? Let's do the bees. I'd imagine we need some honey.
Doctor: So, that's the trap. Or the test or the final judgment, I don't know. But if I kill you, I kill her. Except that implies, in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils, that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods - out of all that - out of that whole pantheon - if I believe in one thing... Just one thing... I believe in her.
Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie... It makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively TO clowns.
The Post-Modern Prometheus - S5-E5
[After spilling coffee on his lap.]
Mulder: Great, now my crotch will be up all night.
President Josiah Bartlet: What's next?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I'll tell you why the Hagens live so long.
Festus Haggen: Why?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: 'Cause they're too dumb to know they're dead.
The Reunion - S1-E14
Ike: How's it feel to be a working man?
John-Boy: Ike, Mama would skin me alive! Everyone knows those two ladies make bootleg whiskey.
Ike: But they don't know what they're doing. They're just following their papa's Recipe.
John-Boy: But sometimes they sell it!
Ike: Yeah, but they're just like two little girls by a roadside selling lemonade.
Seth Wright: Mr. President.
Tom Kirkman: You don't need to get up every time I walk into a room. I'm not the Queen.
Seth Wright: No, sir. Virtually no resemblance.
Frank Reagan: I'm the PC. I know everything.
David Brent: If you want the rainbow you got to take the rain too. You know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.
J.J. Jeffson: Well, you know what the Lord says: "Go forth and multiply, and fill the earth."
Bill Gillespie: But I don't think he meant for you to do that by yourself.
Conner: Tell me again.
Raven: You're the most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms.
Mr. Bennet: For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?
Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things - S1-E4
Daenerys Targaryen: If you ever lay a hand on me again, it'll be the last time you have hands.
Angelique: Let me give you one word of advice, Dr. Hoffman. The pursuit of Barnabas Collins can lead to nothing but misery. He is a cold, harsh, unresponsive man."
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Who made him that way?
The Doctor: You can't rule the world in hiding. You've got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle, if you pardon the expression.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: I'm trying to decide what to arrest you for - obstruction of justice, harboring a fugitive or just being a general pain in the ass.
Alan Shore: Ah, Denny, I've hardly seen you this episode.