Commentator 1: I think he might be ambidextrous
Commentator 2: I don't know about that Bob, but he can definitely play with both feet.
Lorne Daniels: Nobody wants you, not even the Clippers.
Referee #1: Ain't no rules says a dog can't play basketball.
Coach: This is a joke, I mean dogs don't play basketball!
Chaney: What's the matter, afraid your team might get beat by a dog?
Coaches: Put him in.
Frankie Stevens: You know, you say that one more time I will punch you in the nose.
Mac Thompkins: Been a while since I fought a woman.
Eddie Lowery: Hey Francis, I had a dream last night that you shot a 72.
Francis Ouimet: Yeah, it won't be easy in a northeaster.
Eddie Lowery: Come on. You played the course like a one-legged dog how many times.
Francis Ouimet: You're right. Good day for 72.
Eddie Lowery: Okey-dokey, time to smokey.
Monty Stratton: Honey, do you know there's a tailor in Chicago that gives a suit of clothes away to any ballplayer that hits the scoreboard in center field? As of yesterday the New York Yankees are the best dressed team in baseball.
Patrick 'Madman' Kelly: Honey, will you put the kids to bed?
Madman's wife: Why can't we hire a maid?
Patrick 'Madman' Kelly: Why did I ever get married?
Australian POW: This is the end, mates. No one knows you're here... It's best if you just resign to your fate.
Carter Rutherford: I thought you liked me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Look, she's too old for you.
Lexie Littleton: What? Well, you're too old for me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Well, you got me on that one.
Guru Tugginmypudha: Good distraction frees us from emotional pain. Bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz.
Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris: Anybody can lose one fight, anybody can lose once, you'll come back from this you'll be champion of the world.
Football Announcer: Our next defeat is scheduled for next Friday, 8 o'clock.
Gaga: I guarantee it, I absolutely guarantee it. You just cost me 5 million dollars you ancient fuck. I'm going to eat your brains with a spoon, do you hear me? I'm going to eat your fucking brains with a spoon.
Brink: When you woke up this morning, did you say to yourself 'Today, I'm gonna talk.' or 'Today, I'm gonna skate!'?
Jean Roqua: It's on you, always has been, always will be.
Tanner Boyle: Jews, Spics, Ni**ers and a Wop that throws airballs.
L. C. Cheever: You got it backwards kid. You play cards the way you should lead your life. And you lead your life the way you should play cards.
Steff: You're not God, Nickerson. You're just a typing teacher.
Cliff Murdoch: I just figured out why the Cubs lose every year. They've got more talent in the stands than they do in the field.
Tracey Reynolds: Calvin, I think you should stick to basketball. You know why? You can't rap.