Ivan "Fire Urchin": Stepped on me, stepped on me? Are you kidding? This guy was dancing on me! I mean just look at this, broken, broken, gone, gone, broken, broken, broken.
Feng: What part of "sudden death" didn't you understand?
Rudi van der Merwe: First you listen to your heart, then you listen to your head, and then your wife will tell you what to do.
L. C. Cheever: You got it backwards kid. You play cards the way you should lead your life. And you lead your life the way you should play cards.
Michelle Fields: I want to have what you and mom have.
Lambeau "Coach" Fields: Herpes?
Erik Kernan Jr.: The Jermaine story I covered. It was a good fight.
Ralph Metz: Yeah, I buried it.
Erik Kernan Jr.: But why?
Ralph Metz: Something's gotta be buried.
Erik Kernan Jr.: That's what high school wrestling's for, right?
Billy Mitchell: ...but competetive gaming, when you wanna attach your name to a world-record, when you want your name written into history, you have to pay the price.
Joe Kingman: Bostun Webels, experience the heat. Buston Webels, catch the magik. Buston Webels, catch... who wites this?
Dennis: I can lose weight, but you'll always be an asshole!
John Farley: You have a father?
Mr. Woodcock: Of course I have a father, Farley, I'm not Jesus.