
Marquis de Sade: Man has given a false importance to death. Any animal, man or plant that dies adds to Nature's compost heap becomes the manure without which nothing could grow, nothing could be created. Death is simply part of the process. Every death, even the cruellest death drowns in the total indifference of Nature. Nature would watch unmoved if we destroyed the entire human race. I hate Nature.

John: There's just no point hating someone you love.

Open Mic Host: We've got one spot left. You guys got any new material?
JB: What we got's gonna turn your brain into shit.

Hawk: Only a car full of Stellas and Guidos would ride your ass on a 2-lane highway and honk.

Moose: One move can give a skinny, curly haired kid hope... hope that he's something special.

Airport Passport Official: Purpose for your visit?
Javed: I'm going to see Bruce Springsteen's hometown.
Airport Passport Official: I can't think of a better reason to visit the United States, than to see the home of the Boss.

Dusty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.

Marv Gomez: Dancing. Everything else is bullshit.

Chabert: Action. Reaction.

Euripides: Yeah, yeah, I'm lickin' your balls, best balls I ever had. Uh-huh, you've got King-Kong balls. Your balls are so large, just big balls, I don't care. You just got big balls.

Beca: Guys, we've never competed against bands that actually have instruments. So what's the plan?
Serenity: Aw, you guys just sing other people's songs, right? Like karaoke? That's so cute.
Calamity: I'm Calamity. This is Serenity, Veracity, and Charity.
Fat Amy: If I joined your group I could be obesity.

Shiho: Tidy up quickly and take that lunch box to Dad.
Shizuku: What?
Shiho: What do you mean by that tone? You're going to the library, right? Or shall I go instead? Then you can clean the toilet, the bathroom, and the entryway too, and go to the co-op for me. And take in the futons, do the shopping, and prepare dinner.
Shizuku: Goodbye.

Reporter: Do you feel better after seeing the Queen?
Ron Nasty: No, you feel better after seeing the doctor.
Dirk McQuickly: Not my doctor you don't.
Ron Nasty: No, not your doctor.