Dan: You can tell a lot about a person by what's on their playlist.
Greta: I know you can. That's what's worrying me.
Blake: You know, it's kinda like... Success is subjective, you know. It could be an opinion.
Lazarus: I'm cookin' steaks fah dinnah. I expect you to stay.
Ted: Please enjoy the first three movements of...
Both Bill and Ted: That Which Binds Us Through Time, The Chemical, Physical, and Biological Nature of Love, An Exploration of the Meaning of Meaning.
Bill: Part One.
Woody Guthrie: This land is your land/This land is my land/From California to the New York Island/From the Redwood forests to the Gulf Stream waters/This land was made for you and me.
Constanze Mozart: Stop it.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: I am stopping it! Slowly. There? See? I've stopped. Now we're going back.
Constanze Mozart: No.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Yes, yes! You don't know where you are! Here, everything goes backwards. People walk backwards, dance backwards, sing backwards, and even talk backwards.
Constanze Mozart: That's stupid.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Why? People fart backwards.
Father Chuck O'Malley: Mr. Haines is going to give us a mortgage to take care of the difference.
Ted Haines Sr.: That's right, father. He convinced me I have a heart. And, after all, it wouldn't be a church without a mortgage.
Father Fitzgibbons: That's right. That's right.
Sleep'N Eat: Years ago, I married a widow who had a grown up daughter. My daddy visited us often, fell in love, and married her. Thusly, he became my son-in-law and my step-daughter became my mother because she was my father's wife. That's right. After that, my father's wife gave birth to a son who became my brother and my grandchild, because he was the son of my daughter. I ain't jiving! Now, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother because she was my mother's mother. Mantan, I was my wife's husband and grandchild at one and the same time. And lo and behold, as the husband of the person's grandmother is a grandfather, I became my goddamn own grandfather.
Mok: She can sing, or she can scream. But she still pissed me off.
Jordan Cahill: You can't blame the location, you can only blame yourself. The suburbs are just a state of mind.
Mrs. Hazel Pennicott: Are you wondering whether I'm a witch?
Tommy: Aged 11: Suppose you are a witch?
Mrs. Hazel Pennicott: Suppose I am.
Tommy: Aged 11: Would you do a guy a favor?
Mrs. Hazel Pennicott: I've been waiting for twenty years to give a guy a favor.
Susie Diamond: Oh no, not the goddamn Luau Lounge again.
Frank Baker: What's the matter with the Luau Lounge? They don't salt their peanuts?
Susie Diamond: Singing 'Feelings' knee-deep in paper orchids and plastic tiki lamps is not exactly my idea of a fun evening.
Frank Baker: Fun? Who promised you fun? We get paid, remember.
Alex Fletcher: People wait their whole lives to see an ex when things are going really good. It never happens. You could make relationship history.
Walter: What has Max got that I haven't got?
Anna: Walls.
Outspan Foster: What's that? A Mister Chippy van?
Mickah Wallace, Drums: We can't travel in that shit heap.
Joey: Buddy Holly's last words.
Bernie: What?
Joey: We can't travel in that shit heap.
Outspan Foster: Did Buddy Holly say that?
Joey: Before he flew to meet his destiny on that storm-tossed night.
Outspan Foster: Will crashin' in a chipper van make us famous, huh?
Ludwig van Beethoven: An artist is someone who has learnt to trust in himself.
Erika Kohut: Do you like me calling you darling?
Walter Klemmer: It's absolutely marvelous.
Erika Kohut: You must be patient. I'll give you all the names, we'll play all the games you want.
Walter Klemmer: You know you really stink? Sorry, you stink so much, no-one will ever come close to you. You'd be better leave town until you don't stink so bad. Rinse your mouth more often, not just when my cock makes you puke.