Palm Apodaca: Fantastic that you could figure that all out and lie that down on her so you could come up with a way to get your toast. Fantastic.
Bobby: Yeah, well, I didn't get it, did I?
Palm Apodaca: No, but it was very clever. I would have just punched her out.
Henri: Will you to the opera go with me tomorrow night, mademoiselle? While you make up your mind, let me remind you of the ladies of the Spanish court, who always kept their pet apes by their side so that they themselves would look more beautiful.
Myriamme Hayam: Is your wit always turned against yourself, Monsieur Lautrec?
Felicia: This old man he played two. He played knick-knack with my poo.
Ian Curtis: Existence. Well, what does it matter? I exist on the best terms I can. The past is now part of my future. The present is well out of hand.
Pete: You brought your guitar.
Ricki: Yeah, just the one.
Matko Destanov: The Bulgarians always say: "Brother, if you can't solve a problem with money... solve it with a lot of money."
Jack Robin: We in the show business have our religion too - on every day, the show must go on.
Wally Fields: What would I have to give you for one little kiss?
Loretta: Chloroform.
Jack Fate: Some of us pursue perfection and virtue and if we're lucky, we catch up to it. But happiness can't be pursued. It either comes to your or it don't. You can always say, "if only this and if only that", but if only is a state of mind that we get into when we feel deprived.
Lillian Gorfein: Where's his scrotum?
Jim Morrison: You're all a bunch of fuckin' slaves! How much longer are you gonna let them push you around?
Jason Blake: You a B-Boy?
Franklyn: No, I wish. My people were not exactly, um, chosen when it comes to breaking.
Jason Blake: What do you mean, your people?
Franklyn: Jews. We're rhythmically challenged. We're stripped of our swag at the circumcision.
Jason Blake: Ahh.
Franklyn: I've made my peace with it.
Archie Macaw, Record Producer: Well, one day this rather odd chap hopped into the office. He'd been to see virtually everyone in the business and been shown the door. He asked to see MY door, but I wouldn't show it to him. Instead, he showed me the photographs and tapes of the Rutles. They were pretty rough, but they had something.
Narrator: What was it?
Archie Macaw, Record Producer: I think it was the trousers.
Bryan Bontrager: Yeah, see those - all this talking you've been doing at your concerts? That's got to stop, OK? People are paying to hear you sing, not to hear you talk. Do you understand that? No, no, no. You're there to make fans, not enemies.
Rich Wayne Mullins: What can I say? That's what happens when you're honest with religious people.
Omer: You have been Omerized.
Mr. Rad: Get yo' head up. You lost the money, it's gone. But, you can't lay around in yo' misery too long. Do not walk outta' this place and start to second guess yo' talent. You got yo' ass whooped tonight. But, I done seen y'all whoop a many a ass, right in the same place. Now, you lost. Lemme tell you somethin' my father told me, is: "If it don't kill you, it makes you stronger." Remember that.
Della Bea Robinson: He isn't my gift to you, he's your son.
