Kate: How many Lizzies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hmmm, I don't know, but it only takes one to screw up a graduation.
Washington Hogwallop: Mrs. Hogwallop up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T.
American journalist: If you were to give advice to a woman, what would it be?
Edith Piaf: Love.
American journalist: To a young girl?
Edith Piaf: Love.
American journalist: To a child?
Edith Piaf: Love.
Kevin: I am not your slave.
Sugar: Story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
Riff Randell: Tom Roberts is so boring his brother is an only child.
Alvin: I feel like P. Diddy with fur.
Jimmy Smith Jr: You ever wondered at what point you gotta just say "f**k it, man." You ever wondered at what point you gotta stop livin' up here, and start livin' down here?
Justin Bieber: There's gonna be times where people tell you that you can't live your dreams. This is what I tell them: Never say never.
Connie: Are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?
Nancy: Boring, Sidney, Boring.
Mr. White: You guys look great in gold, have I told you that?
Horse: No-one said anything to me about the full monty.
John: He's sex obsessed! The older generation's leading our nation in a state of galloping ruin.
Sister Mary Robert: The only thing the chef knows how to cook is German sausage.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Day after day, liverwurst, bratwurst, beerwurst.
Sister Mary Patrick: It's the "worst."