Riff Randell: Tom Roberts is so boring his brother is an only child.
Kevin: I am not your slave.
American journalist: If you were to give advice to a woman, what would it be?
Edith Piaf: Love.
American journalist: To a young girl?
Edith Piaf: Love.
American journalist: To a child?
Edith Piaf: Love.
Ms. Mullins: I've just been informed that all of your children are missing.
Captain Mack: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 33 thousand feet... 33 thousand feet? Oh shit, man! We fuckin' higher than Redman at the Source Awards.
Dewey Cox: Edith, I am starting to think... that maybe you don't believe in me.
Edith: I do believe in you. I just know you're gonna fail.
P.L. Travers: I will not have her called Cynthia, absolutely not. It feels unlucky. It should be something warm, a bit sexy. How about Mavis?
Alvin: I feel like P. Diddy with fur.
Jimmy Smith Jr: You ever wondered at what point you gotta just say "f**k it, man." You ever wondered at what point you gotta stop livin' up here, and start livin' down here?
Connie: Are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?
Justin Bieber: There's gonna be times where people tell you that you can't live your dreams. This is what I tell them: Never say never.
Wizard: You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe, a harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars.
Marie Stahlbaum: Gosh, this is the most wonderful Christmas ever!
Fritz Stahlbaum: Look at all these presents! I didn’t think we were good enough this year to get all this!
Marie Stahlbaum: Well… you weren’t. But I make up for it.
Fritz Stahlbaum: Ha ha, Marie. Watch it or I’ll have my soldiers attack.
[Fritz fires a toy cannon.]
Marie Stahlbaum: Uh! I am just tooooo scared for words.
Apollonia: Will you help me?
The Kid: No.
Apollonia: Pardon me?
The Kid: Nope... Wanna know why?
Apollonia: Nope.
The Kid: Because you wouldn't pass the initiation.
Apollonia: What initiation?
The Kid: Well, for starters, you have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
Apollonia: What?
The Kid: You have to purify yourself in Lake Minnetonka.
[She strips down, and runs towards the lake.]
The Kid: Hey! Wait a minute! That's...
[She jumps in. She gets out shivering.]
The Kid: Uh, hold it...
Apollonia: What?
The Kid: That ain't Lake Minnetonka.
Emmet Ray: I didn't ask your opinion. I'm just telling ya how it's gonna go.
John: There's just no point hating someone you love.
Bob Morales: Look it's Woody Woodpecker and Buzz Buzzard, Man they make cartoons here.
Teacher: If ya don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding! How can ya have any pudding if ya don't eat ya meat?
Edgar Bergen: Yes, the voice of this golden harp cast a magic spell of joy and prosperity over the valley, but it was too good to last.
Charlie McCarthy: I knew there was a catch in it.
Edgar Bergen: For one day.
Charlie McCarthy: They built a school house.
Edgar Bergen: No, no.