Evelyn Ryan: Do you know that U.S. Army research has shown a relationship between intelligence and willingness to eat unfamiliar foods?
Special Agent Derrick Vann: I'm gonna check the front of my car. If it smells like ass, I'm gonna beat you like a runaway slave.
Pete Van Heuten: Yo-ho-ho, mofo.
Jim Davis: I see dumb people.
Steve Coogan: Womb with a view.
Prince Sadir: Cale, you look me in the eye and you tell me that you think that your horse has a chance at beating my brother's horse.
Cale Crane: My horse will beat every horse that shows up.
Ray Porter: Mirabelle Buttersfield moved from Vermont hoping to begin her life. And now she is stranded in the vast openness of LA. She keeps working to make connections, but the pile of near misses is starting to overwhelm her. What Mirabelle needs is an omniscient voice to illuminate and spotlight her and to inform everyone that this one has value, this one standing behind the counter in the glove department and to find her counterpart and bring him to her.
Girl at Party: Your doing that babbling thing again.
Teddy Harwood: I think babbling is cool.
Grace's Father: Now, they will not admit it, but it's a fact. Deep down inside, there isn't a woman alive who doesn't nurture these fantasies... whether they involve harems, being hunted through the jungle by torch-bearing natives. However much they go on and on about civilization and democracy, sexy it ain't.
Donald Morton: Excuse me. Do you know when the next bus, uh 217, runs?
Man at bus stop: Sorry.
Donald Morton: I'm chasing someone.
Man at bus stop: By bus?
Donald Morton: Well, it's important.
Man at bus stop: Important enough to take the bus?
Donald Morton: Yeah. My girlfriend left me because I wanted to get married and she wanted to stay just friends.
Man at bus stop: Ah. The slower this chase, the better.
Donald Morton: Yeah.
Sasha: It's all right! They're the brothers Grimm! People talk about them in Marsburg! They're famous!
Will: Right you are son! The famous brothers Grimm. Look at this strapping young man.
Gregor: "He" is my daughter.
Will: And a fine wife he'll make some lucky man.
Majeed: I was the funniest one in school... and the funniest one in explosives training.
Romy White: Why am I the only one who sees how great I am?
'Colonel' Tom Parker: Let's face it, son. The records aren't doing what they used to and the movie aren't doing much better.
Elvis Presley: That's probably because of all this material you keep shovin' down my throat, Colonel. Hell, you can't polish a turd.
Evelyn: They don't dream, you know. The dead don't dream, and the dead never sleep. They wait, they watch for a way to get back. My baby told me to, just like yours will tell you, and you have to do it. You have to send it back. They stopped me. Don't let them stop you. You have to listen to the voices. You know what they did? They let the dead get in. They let the dead get in.
Don Hollenbeck: I could use a scotch.
Edward R. Murrow: I think everyone could use a scotch.