T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: Those mother fuckers.
Reggie: I see buckets of dead relatives! Extra crispy! Extra crispy.
Mayor Buckman: Got any last requests, boy?
Malcolm: Yeah. Kiss my black ass.
Father Moore: Once you've looked into the darkness, I think you carry it with you for the rest of your life.
Ben: Captain Newport, sir, I found oysters. They're as thick as my hands. They're the size of stones sir and there's fish everywhere they're flapping against your legs. We're gonna live like kings.
Truman Capote: It's as if Perry and I grew up in the same house and one day he stood up and went out the back door while I went out the front.
Luc Crash: So God gave trash like you wings. He never gave me shit! Fucker.
Shane Wolfe: Rule number one: never be too eager to rush your opponent.
Charles Schine: Please, just take the money.
Philippe LaRoche: Chuck, I already took your money. You see this? This was your money, and I took it. Now it's mine.
Hadley Wolfmeyer: What kind of a dickhead runs away with his secretary? That is lame, take a right, make a left at pathetic.
Jack Twist: God, I wish I knew how to quit you!
Ennis Del Mar: Well, why don't you?
Tom Baker: What do you do for a living Eliot?
Eliot: Well... I'm in 8th grade.
Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch.
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan.
Nola Rice: Men think I may be something special.
Chris Wilton: Are you?
Nola Rice: No one's ever asked for their money back.
Tobin Keller: You lose somebody, you lose somebody. I don't wanna lose two somebodies.
Bree Osbourne: My body may be a work-in-progress, but there is nothing wrong with my soul.
Audrey Billings: You said if I needed anything.
Frank Martin: I can't.
Audrey Billings: Why, because of who I am?
Frank Martin: Because of who I am.
Floyd: Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch!