Dickie Roberts: May I help you? Was I being too loud in my treeehouse?
The Devil: Hmm. You know what they say. In order for one to succeed, another must fail.
Aunt Budge: I would kill for some diarrhea! I haven't had a bowel movement in 17 days.
DJ Drake: Have you seen those "Mummy" movies? I'm in them more than Brendan Fraser is!
Roy: Hey, Rathbone! I was just thinking of a title for my new book. "Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy." Or how about "Roy O'Bannon versus the Man who would be Queen?"
Amy Myer: So, what time will you be picking me up?
Peter Connor: Um, I don't know. Around 8?
Amy Myer: Okay, does that mean 7:45 or 8:15, 8:30...?
Peter Connor: Means around 8.
Amy Myer: Yeah, but, are you the kind of guy that says around 8 and then you show up at 10 or...?
Peter Connor: I'll be there - at 8.
Angela Harris: Is that a fanny pack?
Steve Tobias: It's cute, isn't it?
Angela Harris: It's adorable.
Roxy: You shouldn't accept expensive gifts from a man.
Isabel: Why?
Roxy: Because it puts you in a position of having to do what he wants.
Isabel: I'd do it anyway.
Gino Barberini: Nobody told us there was two America: the real one, United State, and the fake one, Canada. Then, to make matter even worse, there's two Canada: the real one, Ontario, and the fake one, Quebec.
Store Clerk: Enough! You're it! And no touch backs, no do overs, no erasies, and this whole store is home free!
Harry: Lloyd, can he do that?
Lloyd: Oh yeah Harry. He can. He did. And now...it's on like Donkey Kong. Pay the man.
Harry: Pay the man.
Katherine Watson: You can confirm to what other people expect of you, or.
Betty Warren: I know. Be ourselves.
Jack Taylor: What's this I hear about you threatening to spray this play with an AK-47?
Tom Stansfield: Oh... well, I was just making a joke.
Jack Taylor: Oh that's funny to you? People dying? And what's this I hear about you making fun of midgets?
Tom Stansfield: I never make fun of midgets.
Jack Taylor: You said, it would be fun to date one because then you could rest your beer on their head, now I have a sense of humour, but that's just sick.
Antoine Sartain: It's just a game, nothing but a game.
Joe Gavilan: Well we've got four mama's boys down at the morgue. It wasn't a game last night.
Roy: Fourteen! You're fourteen! When'd you have time to get arrested?
Cody Banks: What was my mission again?
Natalie Connors: I think you were going to kiss me.
Alex: I uh.
Emma Dinsmore: Well, I "uh" you too.
Mrs. Connelly: Tell me about yourselves. What do you do Alan?
Alex Rose: Uh, it's Alex.
Nancy Kendricks: Alex is a writer.
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, a writer. I always thought of that as more of a hobby than a real job. I suppose I'm forgetting about Joyce.
Alex Rose: Joyce. James Joyce. Of course. Wonderful writer.
Mrs. Connelly: He died drunk and penniless.
Spike: I am Spike. Full name: Down, Spike, down! Get off that couch.