Evelyn: I think everyone should see themselves doing it and their friends should see it too.
Aunt Budge: I would kill for some diarrhea! I haven't had a bowel movement in 17 days.
Snakehead: Treat him like a prince.
Peter: Angelo, if you can't have compassion for yourself, how you gonna have it for others?
Blake Gardner: Thou movie, which art on screen, hallowed be they name. The time has come. Thou will be shown in theaters as well as home. Give us this day our daily film and forgive our bad choices, as we forgive those whose movies were so bad to choose. And lead us not into television, but deliver us from that evil, for movies are the picture and the sound, and the greatest thing in the whole wide world, forever and ever. Movies Rule.
Angela Harris: Is that a fanny pack?
Steve Tobias: It's cute, isn't it?
Angela Harris: It's adorable.
Jack Taylor: What's this I hear about you threatening to spray this play with an AK-47?
Tom Stansfield: Oh... well, I was just making a joke.
Jack Taylor: Oh that's funny to you? People dying? And what's this I hear about you making fun of midgets?
Tom Stansfield: I never make fun of midgets.
Jack Taylor: You said, it would be fun to date one because then you could rest your beer on their head, now I have a sense of humour, but that's just sick.