Charles Townsend: Bosley, I hope the Angels aren't being too rough on you.
Bosley: Man, please. I date fat women. What you talkin' 'bout?
Tess (in Anna's body): You pierced your navel?
Anna (in Tess' body): Yeah, I... meant to talk to you about that.
Tess (in Anna's body): When did you do this?
Anna (in Tess' body): At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.
Tess (in Anna's body): Well, when you get your body back, it's grounded.
Bert: I'm gonna call it off.
Glen: I think you'd better.
Fritzi: Wait.
Bert: Fritzi, what in the hell are you doing here?
Fritzi: Well I... I knew you'd be discussing stopping the show and I just thought how disappointed all the kids would be after.
Bert: You scheming little bitch.
Fritzi: Oh please! I'm a child.
Bert: If you think for one.
Fritzi: Oh save the speech, rummy. She's fucked, I'm ready, and the goddamn show must go on. So let's get cracking, shall we?
Jerry Lynch: You just don't have the requisite Celtic soul, man.
Premium Fantasy woman: You like massage?
Bob: I don't think I like massage anymore.
Chris: T minus two hours. Bras off to avoid strap marks.
Celia: As we speak darling, as we speak.
Freddy Bender: Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness.
Judge Marva Munson: I'm going to allow it.
Walt: She's got mace.
Young Ed Bloom: Your last name is different. You married.
Jenny: I was 18, he was 28. Turns out it was a big difference.
April Burns: I'm the first pancake.
Evette: What do you mean?
Eugene: She's the one you're supposed to throw out.
Julie Taylor: Why don't we just play two-on-two?
Ryder: But you're.
Julie Taylor: A girl? So I can't play? But then I am black so maybe I can. Your only problem's gonna be deciding which one of your narrow-minded stereotypes is gonna kick your lily-white ass. Afraid you'll get beaten?
Christian Markelli: By a girl and a fag?
Tigger: Aww, I just love a hoppy ending.
Jim: Where's that scary albino when you need him?
Aunt Budge: I would kill for some diarrhea! I haven't had a bowel movement in 17 days.
Roy: So what are we gonna do? Come on, think! I'm not going to an English prison. With my feathery blond hair and Chon's athletic build, they'll try to make us the bell of the ball.
Cody Banks: What was my mission again?
Natalie Connors: I think you were going to kiss me.
Sigmund Jähn: Socialism doesn't mean live behind a Wall. Socialism means reach the others and live with the others.