Julian Mercer: When something happens to you that hasn't happened before, don't you at least have to find out what it is?
Stifler: Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.
Tom Baker: You soaked his underwear in meat? That is so wrong. Funny, but wrong.
Mr. Sir: There ain't nothing down there. We woulda found it by now.
Mr. Pendanski: I wouldn't tell the queen bee that.
Mr. Sir: I ain't on stupid pills!
Bough: Shall we call for back-up sir?
Johnny English: What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? I don't think so.
Ben: Hanging with her for 10 days is gonna be no problem.
Tony: Right. That's only nine days longer than you've ever spent with any other chick, huh?
Theodore Banner: You're my creative team, create a reason to get rid of her or I'll create a new creative team.
Tigger: Aww, I just love a hoppy ending.
PJ: If you jacked it, how come you got a receipt?
B-Rad: I stole that too.
Lars Olfen: I had a garage band in Stockholm, which was a challenge in its own right, to keep an instrument tuned with that temperature swing. There's a block warmer for the Volvo in the garage but it's cold in there in the winter. So we played and I had a hit that you might have heard of. "Hur?r l?get, lilla gumman?" which means, "How's It Hanging, Grandma?" and it was big on the Swedish charts.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Dave assaulted a female flight attendant in mid-air.
Stacy: Nice.
Gina: I bet you beat her good.
Dave Buznik: I didn't beat anybody. I touched a woman.
Chuck: Liar, bullshitter, you're a woman beater! And you can't admit it, because you're a deluded piece of garbage.
Dave Buznik: I don't know about all that but... now I know why you're here.
Tess (in Anna's body): You pierced your navel?
Anna (in Tess' body): Yeah, I... meant to talk to you about that.
Tess (in Anna's body): When did you do this?
Anna (in Tess' body): At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.
Tess (in Anna's body): Well, when you get your body back, it's grounded.
Molly Gunn: Excuse me, Thumbelina, but you're still a little underage to be clubbing, aren't you?
Ray: You're a little overage to be wearing a lampshade in your hair. Bright idea?
Charles Townsend: Bosley, I hope the Angels aren't being too rough on you.
Bosley: Man, please. I date fat women. What you talkin' 'bout?
Charlotte: Why do they switch the r's and the l's here?
Bob: Uh... for yuks. You know? Just to mix it up.
Bob: They have to amuse themselves, 'cause we're not making them laugh.
Jerry Lynch: You just don't have the requisite Celtic soul, man.
Freddy Bender: Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness.
Judge Marva Munson: I'm going to allow it.
Jim: Where's that scary albino when you need him?