Best comedy movie quotes of 2003

Tom Baker: You soaked his underwear in meat? That is so wrong. Funny, but wrong.

Ape: George, I should've told you earlier, but I have some gambling debts that I have to pay off for a little while.
George: How little?
Ape: Seventeen years.
George: George think maybe that might be too late.

Grace: Oh my God!
Bruce: You can call me Bruce.

Hatcher: I suppose now we have a conversation where you enlighten me. How many more of you are out there? Enlighten me. Where are the rest of your compadres? Enlighten me.

Kate: How many Lizzies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hmmm, I don't know, but it only takes one to screw up a graduation.

Mr. Sir: There ain't nothing down there. We woulda found it by now.
Mr. Pendanski: I wouldn't tell the queen bee that.
Mr. Sir: I ain't on stupid pills!

Macca

Bough: Shall we call for back-up sir?
Johnny English: What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? I don't think so.

Chuck: I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood, a very bad mood! I was fired from my ice cream truck job today! No more Fudgicles.

Stills Photographer: Are you drinking, no?
Bob: Am I drinking? As soon as I'm done.

Charlie Hinton: Hey, man, how did it go in there?
Max: ...I missed.
Charlie Hinton: He heh... what does that mean?
Max: I missed.
Charlie Hinton: Oh, hell, no.

Walt: She's got mace.

Ray: You can have your job back, you know.
Molly Gunn: I don't think so. You and I, we're gonna be friends. Okay?
Ray: Grownups never stay friends with kids.
Molly Gunn: I don't see any grownups around here.
Ray: I do.

Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.

Lila Montagne: A toast, an affirmation, a prayer of thanks. I want you to know that, wherever we find ourselves in this world, whatever our successes or failures, come this time of year, you will always have a place of my table. And a place in my heart.

Henry Dashwood: For me, it's just a stop on the campaign trail, and for Glynnis it's a chance to launch Clarissa on society.
Daphne Reynolds: Launch her? You make her sound like a ship.
Henry Dashwood: No, in Clarissa's case it's more like an intercontinental ballistic missile.

Vlad: Are you blushing?
Michael: Are you kidding? I'm doing everything but bat my eyes.

Joanie Fisher: And she's English?
Colin Ware: Welsh. Well, half Welsh.
Joanie Fisher: Half Welsh and half.
Colin Ware: Monster.

Darrell: Eva's sisters gave her a cross with Jesus on it for her birthday, the next day Jesus was gone.

Chris: I'm not a total dead loss as a woman, I may not be able to knit or make plum jam but I can bake a bloody Victoria sponge... 'course I didn't bake this one, I got it at Marks and Spencer.

April Burns: I'm the first pancake.
Evette: What do you mean?
Eugene: She's the one you're supposed to throw out.