Graham: You are who you are. The only trick is not getting caught.
Megan: How'd you end up here?
Graham: I got caught.
Joshua Leonard: I gave you BACK the map, Heather.
Heather Donahue: I gave you the map.
Joshua Leonard: I gave you BACK... THE MAP.
Leigh Ann Watson: It's completely factual, she was burned at the stake.
Mrs. Tingle: Always the victim, aren't we, Ms. Watson?
Leigh Ann Watson: Well there are certain similarities between society today and seventeenth century Salem. I guess that would be the irony of it all.
Mrs. Tingle: Irony is the opposite of what is or might be expected. For example, if Ms. Watson was expecting an A on her history project, she might find the actual result to be rather ironic.
Cynthia: We don't even have money in our budget for coffee filters. We're using a yarmulke.
Moff: See ya later Pete, no-one gives a fuck about ya.
Angela McCourt: Don't let anyone ever slam the door on you again. Do you hear me?
Older Frank: I do.
Kit: Go call Arnold and Sly, and Jackie Chan and Van Damme, and tell them the spearchucker said hello.
Mrs. Shah: I will never allow my daughters to marry into this jungly family of half-breeds.
Ella Khan: Well they may be half-bred, but at least they're not friggin' inbred like those two monstrosities.
Donna: Where are we?
Joe: It's a little inlet, on the back side of Coashov Island.
Donna: Is that like up Shit Creek without a paddle?
Joe: Yeah, pretty much.
Bottom the Weaver: Since lion vile hath here deflowered my dear.
Peter Quince: Devoured.
The Ghost of Christmas Present: You should have accepted Fred's invitation to dine.
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: What?
The Ghost of Christmas Present: For Fran's sake, if not for yours.
Hillary: I don't want to look desperate.
Monica: Desperate? You could stand there naked with a mattress strapped to your back and still look like a vestal virgin.
Hillary: Do you think that would work?
Tom Wall: Frank, what are you doing back there?
Frank Pierce: I'm sick, Tom. I need a cure. Vitamin B cocktail, followed by an amp of glucose and a drop of adrenaline. Not as good as beer, but it's all I got.
Trent: A woman has an orgasm, it's like a fuckin' earthquake, right? I was doing this one Bertha once, I swear to God it was like a 7.5. It's like, I'm lookin' at my dick, going, "Jesus Christ, why can't you do that?"
Twister: I got a four-year-old nephew who works harder than you do.
Larry Houdini: You know what? I think I liked you better as a boogey... peeerson.
Vince Boudreau: If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder... they call him a cocksucker.
The Conscience: Who are you to even think that you can know the difference between good and evil?
