Princess Bunhead: You'll never get away with this, Black Helmet Man! You are bad! You are bad and we are good! Your badness will be the end of you, and our goodness will be our triumph! Bad is bad - good is good! Bad-bad-good-bad! Good-good-bad-good, bad! Good.
Sarah: Are you on a new book?
Maurice Bendrix: Of course.
Sarah: It's not about us, is it? The one you threatened to write?
Maurice Bendrix: A book takes a year to write. It's too hard work for revenge.
Sarah: If only you knew how little you had to revenge.
Maurice Bendrix: I'm joking. We are adults. We knew it had to end some time. Now we can have lunch and talk about your husband.
Joel: I... I mean, you're more than just a sissy. You're nice and... and clean and smart... and sexy and firm and luscious and.
Andre: Excuse me! The last thing I need right now is some fruit who's just proved himself straight tellin' my ass how sexy I am.
Oscar Novak: ...she has an ass so sexy, I struggle to understand it.
Charlie Boyle aka Chaz Anthony: I have to watch my sister.
Claire Addison: I thought you were an only child?
Charlie Boyle aka Chaz Anthony: I am. Sister... Mary Catherine... she's a nun... and an invalid.
Lysander: The course of true love never did run smooth.
László: Everyone would like it all: something for the body, something for the soul. Something that fills you up, something that makes you hungry.
Alvin Straight: I want to thank you for your kindness to a stranger.
Danny Riordan, Clermont Resident: It's been a genuine pleasure having you here, Alvin. Write to us some time.
Alvin Straight: I will.
Titus: O handle not the theme, to talk of hands, Lest we remember still, that we have none.
Jimmie: Just give me the damn symbolic vaginas.
Marco: You are sick.
Alan Mann: I can't fart loud enough to express my opinion.
Laura: Then I take it you reject my proposal?
Lord Arthur Goring: I'm afraid I must. For you see, as tempting as it may be, in truth it's little more than blackmail.
Laura: True.
Voice of the Announcer: Meanwhile, back at Snidely's not-so-secret hideout.
Assistant at Bewitched: You're wanted on the set.
Lucille: Honey, I'm wanted in seven states.
Bryce: I only wanted to get laid, instead I'm getting fucked.
Elsa Morganthal Strauss-Armistan: If I hadn't been there for you then, you wouldn't be here for me NOW.
Carla Tate: Have you ever done it before?
Daniel McMann: Well, yeah, kind of. You see the guys at work, they chipped in and they found this girl and she had a reputation. There was a lot of kissing and hugging and a lot of rubbing, and I kind of finished before I was supposed to. You have to be a guy to understand that.