Morpheus: You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
Paul Edgecomb: On the day of my judgment, when I stand before God, and He asks me why did I kill one of his true miracles, what am I gonna say? That it was my job? My job?
John Coffey: You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we's coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?
Paul Edgecomb: Yes, John. I think I can.
Marion Petrocell: The Kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in buildings of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood and I am there; lift a stone and you will find me.
Patrick: Don't ever let any one make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.
Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?
Rick: Yeah, I was there.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.
Guy Fleegman: I'm not even supposed to be here! I'm just "Crewman Number Six"! I'm expendable! I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is! I've gotta get outta here!
Connor: Jeez! It's a fuckin' six-shooter. Fuck!
Murphy: There's nine bodies, genius.
Connor: What the fuck were you gonna do, laugh the last three to death, Funny-Man?
Ivana Humpalot: My name is Ivana. Ivana Humpalot.
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Ivana Humpalot: Ivana Humpalot.
Austin: And I want a toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now, is it?
Russell Franklin: Just what the hell did you do to those sharks?
Dr. Susan McCallister: Their brains weren't large enough to harvest sufficient amounts of the protein complex. So we violated the Harvard Compact. Jim and I used gene therapies to increase their brain mass, a larger brain means more protein. As a side effect the sharks got smarter.
Janice Higgins: You stupid bitch!
Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.
Kent Mansley: Launch the missile now.
Bethany: I don't want this, it's too big.
Metatron: That's what Jesus said. Yes, I had to tell him. And you can imagine how that hurt the Father - not to be able to tell the Son Himself because one word from His lips would destroy the boy's frail human form? So I was forced to deliver the news to a scared child who wanted nothing more than to play with other children. I had to tell this little boy that He was God's only Son, and that it meant a life of persecution and eventual crucifixion at the hands of the very people He came to enlighten and redeem. He begged me to take it back, as if I could. He begged me to make it all not true. And I'll let you in on something, Bethany, this is something I've never told anyone before... If I had the power, I would have.
Tyler Durden: The first rule of fight club: You don't talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club: You do NOT talk about fight club.
Claude Banks: Don't touch this car.
Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I piss on the motherfucker. I ain't gonna touch it, I piss on it.
Claude Banks: Why you got to say nasty shit, Ray?
Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I'm a nasty motherfucker.
Kelly Scott: [On the phone.] Thank you, it's so rewarding to imagine my tax dollar finding its way to you, you fuckshit!
Hector Cyr: You are a saucy flirt.
Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
[Gasp from the class.]
Mr. Garrison: Eric! Did you just say the "F" word?
Cartman: [confused.] Jew?
Kyle: No, not Jew! He's talking about "fuck"! You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!
Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the fuck not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: [Muffled.] Fuck.
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck.
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
[Gasp from the class.]
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[Cartman pulls out a bullhorn.]
Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS? MR. Garrison.
Stan: Holy shit, dude.
Boris Balkan: Behold, I plunge my hands in fire! I feel no heat.
Dean Corso: That's just great! Give us another.
Tom Ripley: You're the brother I never had. I'm the brother you never had. I would do anything for you, Dickie.