Jim Kurring: The law is the law, and heck if I'm gonna break it. But if you can forgive someone... Well, that's the tough part. What can we forgive?
Sarah: Love doesn't end, just because we don't see each other.
Maurice Bendrix: Doesn't it?
Sarah: People go on loving God, don't they? All their lives. Without seeing him.
Maurice Bendrix: That's not my kind of love.
Sarah: Maybe there is no other kind.
Gary: I'm sure every man and his dog has tried a line on you, but has anyone ever told you you have very sad eyes?
Joanna: Well, yes, they have, Gary. Has anyone ever told you you need a shower?
Alan Mann: I can't fart loud enough to express my opinion.
Roy Lee: What's an auk?
O'Dell: It's a bird that don't fly.
Roy Lee: You mean like a parakeet?
Amédée: People are not used to thinking anymore, but don't do too much of it.
The Exterminator: You don't have a mouse problem lady, you got a neighbour problem.
PJ: I don't hate women. I love ladies.
Ruth Barron: Ha! Ladies! You wouldn't know any. I bet you date little Barbie dolls, don't you?"Oh, you're so brainy, you're so big! Can I suck your dick?" Can I be alone now?
Rosie Forbes: You've got balls.
Maniac: You should see 'em.
Rosie Forbes: Mine are bigger.
Maniac: I've been told size doesn't matter.
Rosie Forbes: She lied.
Jimmy Sands: Clip their wings? Man, could you just shoot their damn heads off? And don't miss.
Eddie: Hitler ended up in a ditch covered in petrol on fire... so, that's fun. I think that's funny. Because he was a mass-murdering fuck-head.
Stringy Haired Woman: Don't think you're something you're not. I used to have your job.
Ronna: Look how far it got you.
Harry: Shut the hell up, Francis, or I won't tell anyone where you are, and that would suck for you.
Detective Jojima: My father was a small-village cop in a town where nothing ever happened. He just hung around like a scarecrow, until he died. But like they say - even a scarecrow keeps away the sparrows.
Angie: OK, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad.
Ben: Next time, you should think before you open your mouth.
Kay Chandler: You know those drugstore kits that tell you when you're pregnant? They should have one that tells you when you're sane.
Harry Sawyer: So we're gay. How hard can that be?
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: It might not be hard for you, Rock Hudson, but I have got heterosex.
Harry Sawyer: What?
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: 'Not gay' written all over me.