Titus: O handle not the theme, to talk of hands, Lest we remember still, that we have none.
Amber Atkins: Loretta, never have kids.
Loretta: Oh, honey, God bless ya for thinking I still could.
Stephie: You just stay the fuck away from B.
Aulon: But how do you know that these voices aren't just really you?
Joan of Arc: They are me. That's how God speaks to me. Even you could hear them if you listened hard enough.
Princess Bunhead: You'll never get away with this, Black Helmet Man! You are bad! You are bad and we are good! Your badness will be the end of you, and our goodness will be our triumph! Bad is bad - good is good! Bad-bad-good-bad! Good-good-bad-good, bad! Good.
The Ghost of Christmas Present: You should have accepted Fred's invitation to dine.
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: What?
The Ghost of Christmas Present: For Fran's sake, if not for yours.
Ghost Dog: Even if one's head were to be suddenly cut off, he should be able to do one more action with certainty. With martial valor, if one becomes like a revengeful ghost and shows great determination, though his head is cut off, he should not die.
Bobby Chicago: Is this considered interfering with a police investigation?
Jericho Cane: Hey... we're private citizens having a conversation with another citizen. I mean, I don't think they found a way to outlaw that... at least not yet.
Sajid Khan: Mum! Mum! The Pakis are here.
Rosie Forbes: You've got balls.
Maniac: You should see 'em.
Rosie Forbes: Mine are bigger.
Maniac: I've been told size doesn't matter.
Rosie Forbes: She lied.
Alan Mann: I can't fart loud enough to express my opinion.
Narrator: The male and female feed on a meal of dead earth creature and vegetation.
Leigh Ann Watson: It's completely factual, she was burned at the stake.
Mrs. Tingle: Always the victim, aren't we, Ms. Watson?
Leigh Ann Watson: Well there are certain similarities between society today and seventeenth century Salem. I guess that would be the irony of it all.
Mrs. Tingle: Irony is the opposite of what is or might be expected. For example, if Ms. Watson was expecting an A on her history project, she might find the actual result to be rather ironic.
Cynthia: We don't even have money in our budget for coffee filters. We're using a yarmulke.
Detective Jojima: My father was a small-village cop in a town where nothing ever happened. He just hung around like a scarecrow, until he died. But like they say - even a scarecrow keeps away the sparrows.
Voice of the Announcer: Meanwhile, back at Snidely's not-so-secret hideout.
Albert Collins: Silence is the most beautiful noise in the world.
Trent: A woman has an orgasm, it's like a fuckin' earthquake, right? I was doing this one Bertha once, I swear to God it was like a 7.5. It's like, I'm lookin' at my dick, going, "Jesus Christ, why can't you do that?"
Tommy Trafford: Miss Mabel, I hope you'll be able to make our usual appointment, as I have something very particular I wish to say to you. Good day, ladies.
Mabel: When Tommy wants to be romantic, he talks to one just like a doctor.