Pat Finley: Who wants to tell us the lesson we learned here?
Roy: Don't put Twinkies on your pizza.
Tank Girl: You gotta think of it like...the first time you got laid. You just gotta go 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'.
Telly: When you're young, not much matters. When you find something that you care about, then that's all you got. When you go to sleep at night you dream of pussy. When you wake up it's the same thing. It's there in your face. You can't escape it. Sometimes when you're young the only place to go is inside. That's just it - fucking is what I love. Take that away from me and I really got nothing.
Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point.
Clyde Percy: How can you stand next to him?
Sister Helen Prejean: Mr. Percy, I'm just trying to follow the example of Jesus, who said that a person is not as bad as his worst deed.
Clyde Percy: This is not a person. This is an animal.
Gabriel: Lucifer, sitting in your basement. Sulking after your breakup with The Boss. You're nothing. (01:28:46)
Bobby Brady: Excuse me Mr Dittmeyer, but the height of your hedge is blocking your view of oncoming traffic and as a junior safety inspector I felt it was my duty to point out this hazard to you.
Larry Dittmeyer: Well you see, Billy...
Bobby Brady: Bobby.
Larry Dittmeyer: Like it matters. I grew my hedge tall for a reason... So I wouldn't have to see your family. Thank you for your concern.
Henri Young: I got nothin'. I got nobody. I don't need a lawyer, I need a friend.
Maria: Ox.
Max: Nag.
Jack: God, we're pathetic, aren't we?
Angela: Excuse me?
Jack: Well, we're here. We're sitting on the most perfect beach in the world, and all we can think about is-.
Angela: "Where I can hook up my modem?"
Jack: Yeah, exactly.
Spider: If you're not expected then you're not invited - SO fuck OFF.
Max: Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Goofy: 'Cause, I don't want you to end up in the electric chair.
Hallmark: Have you had any contact with the aggressors?
Darren McCord: I killed two. Is that contact?
John Reilly: I didn't kill her, I fucked her, Okay?
Chili Palmer: Harry, look at me. You're trying to tell me you fucked up without sounding stupid, and that's hard to do.
Critical Bill: My new motto: Fuck the head.
Bernadine Harris: The worst thing is that he made me move out here where my children are in school with only one other black kid so they won't be improperly influenced. Well, guess what John, YOU'RE the motherfuckin' improper influence! Get your shit! Get your shit! And, get out.
Cage: While you're at it, why don't you call my agent?
Blade: Do I look like your secretary?
Reverend George: They have the look of man... but not the nature of mankind.
Kabral: The black guy always dies. Think about it, man. Unforgiven. Alien. Rocky IV. The Shining.
Roy: Star Trek II. Forrest Gump. Witness.
Bud: Annie Hall. Not Annie Hall.
Roy: No, Night of the Living Dead.
Bud: That's the one!
Kabral: And what about that brother in Jurassic Park, man?
Bud: There were two black guys who died in that one. That was a twofer. You must be really pissed off at that one.