Jack Foley: You really know who you are, don't you?
Bernadette 'Benny' Hogan: Well, yes, of course I do.
Gilbert Sipes: Go play your banjo, Goober.
Peter Foley: Did you know, Helen, that more books have been written about Jack the Ripper than Abraham Lincoln? It's a sick world, isn't it, Helen?
David: We elect the officers and everything. It's socialism in action - not like the army back home.
Callie: For the love of God.
Darkly Noon: Precisely.
Little Bear: Good! I like danger. Do you like danger, Texas Man?
Shiho: Tidy up quickly and take that lunch box to Dad.
Shizuku: What?
Shiho: What do you mean by that tone? You're going to the library, right? Or shall I go instead? Then you can clean the toilet, the bathroom, and the entryway too, and go to the co-op for me. And take in the futons, do the shopping, and prepare dinner.
Shizuku: Goodbye.
Greek Chorus Leader: Don't go any further. I know what you're thinking, Lenny, and forget it!
Lenny Weinrib: I can't forget it; the thought's been put in my head.
Chorus: Oh, cursed fate; certain thoughts are better left unthunk.
Bess Truman: I think like Harry - if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.
Darius: Just think of aids as the guest that won't leave, the one we all hate. But you have to remember: Hey! It's still our party.
Lancelot: I dare not kiss so lovely a lady. I have but one heart to lose.
Dr. Frankenollie: Let me introduce your co-worker. I made him myself.
Octavia Tarrant: Death is a return, you know. We leave life just like we came in.
Annie Tarrant: Alone?
Octavia Tarrant: Naked, blind, and covered in our own shit.
Bruno Parker: I never saw anything funny that didn't cause pain.
Donald Patterson: Did I say that? I didn't say that! All I said was... bad things tend to happen around you two. Some money got lost and I think you two can help me find it.
Charlie: How so?
Donald Patterson: You look for it.
Ted the Bellhop: Problem? I haven't got a problem. I've got fucking problems. Plural.
Leo: Par, par, bogey, bogey, par, par.
Mieko Takeda: Nothing can stop them from finding and killing you.
Racine: So how did they screw up and leave me alive?
Mieko Takeda: Even monkeys fall out of trees.