Vida Boheme: I think tomorrow is a "Say Something" hat day.
Henri Young: I got nothin'. I got nobody. I don't need a lawyer, I need a friend.
Maria: Ox.
Max: Nag.
Morgan: Stop your chatter and say something Latin-ish.
Spider: If you're not expected then you're not invited - SO fuck OFF.
Max: Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Goofy: 'Cause, I don't want you to end up in the electric chair.
Jim: And in the next life, father, I'M gonna have the paddle.
Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point.
John Reilly: I didn't kill her, I fucked her, Okay?
Marie Stahlbaum: Gosh, this is the most wonderful Christmas ever!
Fritz Stahlbaum: Look at all these presents! I didn’t think we were good enough this year to get all this!
Marie Stahlbaum: Well… you weren’t. But I make up for it.
Fritz Stahlbaum: Ha ha, Marie. Watch it or I’ll have my soldiers attack.
[Fritz fires a toy cannon.]
Marie Stahlbaum: Uh! I am just tooooo scared for words.
Puppet Master: We have been subordinate to our limitations until now. The time has come to cast aside these bonds and to elevate our consciousness to a higher plane. It is time to become a part of all things.
Bobby Brady: Excuse me Mr Dittmeyer, but the height of your hedge is blocking your view of oncoming traffic and as a junior safety inspector I felt it was my duty to point out this hazard to you.
Larry Dittmeyer: Well you see, Billy...
Bobby Brady: Bobby.
Larry Dittmeyer: Like it matters. I grew my hedge tall for a reason... So I wouldn't have to see your family. Thank you for your concern.
Bernadine Harris: The worst thing is that he made me move out here where my children are in school with only one other black kid so they won't be improperly influenced. Well, guess what John, YOU'RE the motherfuckin' improper influence! Get your shit! Get your shit! And, get out.
Hallmark: Have you had any contact with the aggressors?
Darren McCord: I killed two. Is that contact?
Diane Barrows: It was there, I know it, that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over - the-fence, World Series kind of stuff.
High School Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said, is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Billy Madison: OK, a simple "wrong" would have done just fine.
Art Dodge: For me there is only Rimbaud.
Liz Kerner: Rimbaud? Why?
Betty Kerner: Well, it's obvious. He's the original. I mean, Seagal and Van Damme are just cheap imitations.
Stuart Smalley: Because what they say is true - it's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
Easy Rawlins: A man once told me that you step out of your door in the morning, and you are already in trouble. The only question is are you on top of that trouble or not?