Vada: If I get married, I'll never change my name.
Nick: Why? You think the guy should change his name?
Vada: I don't think anybody should change their names, that way you can't find them when you need them.
Nick: What if you don't want to be found?
Vada: Why do you argue with everything I say?
Carl: You know Ray, since your kid's moved in, the food's gotten better.
Ed: I gotta ask this question, or I wouldn't be doing my job. Would you care to comment on the rumor that you, uh, arranged for an automobile to be purchased for Neon Bodeaux?
Coach Bell: You know [sighs]. You know, Ed, you've just gotta get your mind out of the gutter. You know, you just gotta to start thinking straight. I mean, it's right there in front of you. For christsake, it wasn't an automobile. I mean, it was a fully loaded Lexus.
Antonio: This is not a motel called "Cemetery." This is a cemetery called "Motel."
Doug Chesnic: Don't you see? If he is involved, then her life is worthless, you understand? They had to fucking kill her.
Pauline Parker: I felt thoroughly depressed and even quite seriously considered committing suicide. Life seemed so much not worth the living and death such an easy way out.
Honorah Parker Rieper: Love, you can still write to each other.
Pauline Parker: Anger against Mother boiled up inside me, as it is she who is one of the main obstacles in my path. Suddenly a means of ridding myself of this obstacle occurred to me. If she were to die.
Kitty Potter: This is fucking fruitcake time. I mean - is that fashion, is it? I mean is there a message out there? I mean you got lot of naked people wandering around here.
Felicia: How long have we been on the road?
Bernadette: Four and a half hours.
Paul: It's him, Danny. He's here.
Jafar: Iago, you betrayed me and allied yourself with my enemies! Then you turned on them as soon at it was in your best interests. That's what I love about you. You're so perfectly predictable. A villain through and through.
Warden: Was there something you wanted to add?
Robbins: Don't ever turn your back on me again.
Jack Hammond: That's the question on the minds of all your viewers? Whether I run out of gas or not? Tell you what, Jer. You let your viewers know that I hope Miss Voss' fear and my desperation are entertainment enough for them. After all, that is what this is all about, isn't it? The story. As it breaks. Live. Coming to you from the bad guy himself. I mean we wouldn't want your viewers to change the fucking channel, now, would we?
Eugene Sutphin: Beverly, I've read all about this. Is it menopausal?
Beverly: Oh, honey.
Vera Johnson: People like you come and go, Carly. You mean just one less Christmas card to me.
Johnny McFarley: Hey Peaches, want some ribs?
Ryan Gaerity: I've come here to create a new country for you called chaos, and a new government called anarchy.
John Manly: Kind treatment makes good horses, Joe. Bad treatment ruins them.
Chief Editor: Yeah, and if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's ass a-hoppin'.
John Lennon: We're gonna be big Stu, we're gonna be too big for Liverpool, we're gonna be too big for Hamburg, we're gonna be too big for our own bloody good.