About Last Night... (1986)

Bernie: I stole it.
Danny: You did not.
Bernie: Oh, that's great, Dan. I tell you I'm a thief and you call me a liar.

Danny: He is a better human being than that bitch on wheels you've got for a friend.

Bernie: Interesting broad. Where'd she develop her personality? A car crash?

Danny: Hey, know one thing - I never screwed around on you.
Debbie: Oh, well, let's just give the boy a medal! I didn't realise it was such a sacrifice.

Joan: Give me a gin and tonic.
Mother Malone: Last call was ten minutes ago.
Joan: Give me a gin and tonic or I will kill you.
Mother Malone: Just one.

Debbie: This is Joan, my roommate. She specializes in unsolicited attacks.

Joan: Tomorrow you know, they're going to come at me like marauding beasts bent on destruction.
Debbie: Stop it.
Joan: Deborah, you work in advertising... a civilized business. I on the other hand work with monsters.
Debbie: You're talking about 5 year olds.
Joan: Right! and my job is to break their spirit. That is what kindergarten is all about. The Germans invented it, think about it.

Debbie: Bullshit. You don't know what love is. You've gotten everything you have always wanted and now you're feeling sorry for yourself because there's something you want and you can't have it. But you had it! I gave you love. But you asked me to leave and I left.

Bernie: You know what your problem is? Your face. Come on, you're too good-looking. Girls go out with you and get nervous. They feel dumpy, they don't want to compete. They want a guy like... like me. A guy who'll make them look good. A basic Neanderthal type. The swarthy type. A man's man.

Bernie: Was that the chick from last night?
Danny: Yeah, I picked up the phone and she was already on the line.
Bernie: Yeah, right. Pull this leg and it plays jingle bells.

Bernie: What do you do?
Joan: Me?
Bernie: Well, yeah for a living?
Joan: I'm a neurosurgeon, you?
Bernie: I'm a prizefighter. Do you know much about boxing?
Joan: No.
Bernie: I'm the heavyweight champion of the world.

Danny: Oh, you're not leavin' are ya?
Joan: No, we're walking in backwards.

Joan: So, worried much about western civilization?
Danny: Not really. Not tonight.
Joan: It's collapsing, or hadn't you notice?
Danny: I live in a pretty good neighborhood.

Bernie: You don't go here. You don't go there. You're about as much fun as a stick.

Danny: That's good! Now maybe you could find it in your heart to take this thing and shove it up your ass.

Joan: Oh god, Pat's going in for the kill. Oh my! That was a nice turn.
Debbie: With just a hint of giddiness.
Joan: Her big move should be coming up any moment. The combination hair flip with a giggle.
Debbie: There is a 3.2 level of difficulty here. Joan let's see if she can pull it off.
Joan: This is it... this is it... Oh Yes.
Debbie: Oh Yes! Yes! Oh Bravo! Bravo! 9.0.

Debbie: Would you stop following me around. I don't want to have to start drinking in the suburbs.