Captain Thaddeus Harris: Not exactly a four star hotel, is it?
Lieutenant Talinsky: Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals, not on pampering out of town visitors.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: It was your government that brought us here.
Lieutenant Talinsky: They also bring in monkeys for zoo, but we don't put them in four star hotel either.
Mark Van Doren: Your name is mine.
Frank Wheeler: Which brings us to... intercourse! Can I have a volunteer?
Mowgli: The more I learn what is a man, the more I want to be an animal.
Senior in restaurant #1: If you have job, you wear the pants.
Maurice L. Pogue: It's so nice seeing all your faces here: John and Susan and Mary and Fred and Ethel, Little Ricky.
Herbert Cadbury: Well... I'm already wanted for attempted murder, escaping from jail, and blowing up an aircraft. Breaking and entering sounds right up my alley. Let's kick some butt, shall we?
Diane Pazinski: Let's.
Dorothy Parker: I'll wear my heart on my sleeve like a wet, red stain.
Yvonne Biasi: Who wants ice cream on their pie? Who wants pie?
Ryan Gaerity: I've come here to create a new country for you called chaos, and a new government called anarchy.
Shirley: Shit! All I can see is female impersonators.
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: Ambition without knowledge is like a boat on dry land.
Tony Hoyle: Let the law take these guys down. You know, sometimes the law works.
Paul Kersey: And sometimes it doesn't! These people, they steal, they murder, they destroy people's lives and they get away with it! They have alibis, money, lawyers, power. They have everything.
Silas Crow: My name is Silas Crow. I'm 18-years-old. For a year, me and Frank Fencepost been trying to get into this mechanic school. First, they tell us we gotta write a story. Something about something we know. Well, for a long time I couldn't find one, I mean, lots of stuff goes on here, but I couldn't see it as stuff you'd write down.
Bailiff: All Rise.
Judge Marcus: To hell with that, let's go.
Chip: Mom, are you a serial killer?
Beverly: The only "serial" I know anything about is Rice Krispies.
Urgl: Your body's gone.
Engywook, Male Gnome: Well, your body went years ago.
John Slade: The name's Slade.
Julian Rogers: Super. Here's an idea. Why don't you spell it out for me so I can get it right on your tombstone.
Fiona: Why does he run from me?
Tadhg: Why do you chase him?
Tadhg: He's my little brother! He's lost out there.
Tadhg: He's not lost... he's just with another branch of the family.