Chazz: Who'd win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?
Chris Moore: Lemmy.
[Rex imitates a game show buzzer.]
Chris Moore: God?
Rex: Wrong, dickhead. Trick question. Lemmy is God.
Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?
Timon: Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know.
Pumbaa: Oh. What are they?
Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh... Got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.
Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything's gas.
Jerome Lurie: Ma'am, I don't know how to tell you this.
Anita Crown: Tell me what?
Jerome Lurie: Well, your claim is worthless without your husband alive. See for yourself... second paragraph. Now ma'am, I'm sorry but it's the law. Surely you understand that.
Anita Crown: Yes, I understand that. I was worthless until I married. So now, I guess I'm worthless as a widow. Funny, I had some value as a whore.
Mike Swale: I'm starting to feel like a.
Bridget Gregory: Sex object?
Phil: In case we don't make it and I die first... Eat me.
Mitch: Eat you? I don't even like talking to you on the phone.
Simon Wilder: Which door do I leave from?
Proffesor Pitkannan: At Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions.
Simon Wilder: Okay. Which door do I leave from, asshole?
Speed: I think I pulled a muscle.
Jean-Bob: I'm gonna die! I know it! I'm on a mission with a lame turtle.
Uncle Vester: Whoa! My momma dead! Now I gotta cut ya! That's the rule, cut ya, cut ya.
FBI Agent Dale Grissom: You're surrounded! Throw down the Boo Boo and put your hands over your head.
Mario Ruoppolo: Your smile spreads like a butterfly.
Troy Dyer: I've wanted you like this for all these years.
Fiona: There's a sort of greatness to your lateness.
Charles: Thanks, it's not achieved without real suffering.
The Judge: Deciding what is true and what isn't now seems to me...a lack of modesty.
Valentine: Vanity?
The Judge: Vanity.
Friedrich Bhaer: I am going to the west. They need teachers and they are not so concerned about the accent.
Jo March: I don't mind it either.
Sean Barker: The Guyver Unit. It's been a year since the alien armor invaded my body and became a part of me. A year since I first became the Guyver and destroyed the Chronos Corporation and their shape changing killers, the Zoanoids. Now Chronos is gone. But the Guyver stays in me. Calling me to fight. To kill.
Kellie Frost: I don't like Bull Riders... They're little men with big egos. Besides, he's got one of them skinny butts like the rest of em'.
Kelly's Mom: Honey, I judge a man more by the size of his heart then his rear... It's likely to do you more good.
Rudy Zolteck: That's it, I'm leaving the country. I'm moving to New Mexico.
McComb: Elections are won with television. You don't need the press, you don't need endorsements, you don't even need the truth. You need money.