The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994)

Doctor: Mr. Belrose?
Tick: Yes?
Doctor: Congratulations. It's a boy.

Felicia: Well, girls, what can I say? Here's to a secret very well kept.
Bernadette: Shame it's not gonna stay that way, isn't it?

Aboriginal Man: So... You actually make money by dressing up like a woman?
Tick: Oh, sure. You can make a fine living in a pair of heels.

Bernadette: We've only recently discovered that young Anthony here, bats for both teams.
Mitzi: I do not.
Felicia: Oh, so we're straight?
Mitzi: No.
Felicia: Oh, we're not. So we're a donut puncher, after all?
Mitzi: No.
Felicia: Then what the hell are we?
Mitzi: I don't fuckin' know.

Felicia: Who taught you to waltz?
Tick: My wife.
Felicia: Oh, how sweet.

Bernadette: What a nice dog. What's it's name?
Bob: Herpes. If she's good, she'll heal.

Felicia: How long have we been on the road?
Bernadette: Four and a half hours.

Felicia: Do you know why this microphone has such a long cord?
Man In Crowd: Why?
Felicia: So it's easily retrieved after I've shoved it up your ass.

Shirley: Shit! All I can see is female impersonators.

Felicia: This old man he played two. He played knick-knack with my poo.

Tick: What do you assume I do? Lie?
Marion: Assumption, my dear Mitz, is the mother of all fuck-ups.

Felicia: Oh, you can't do that with a ping-pong ball.
Bernadette: Do you wanna bet?

Bernadette: How long is the run?
Tick: Four weeks. Equity minimum, two shows a night, accommodation included.