North (1994)

North: How does that get me into a good college?
Governor Ho: Well, since we don't use the letters B, C, D and F, you're pretty much guaranteed to get straight A's.

North: Adam, what are you doing here?
Adam: Listen very carefully. I'm not here. You never saw me. We're not even having this conversation right now. Got that?
North: Got what?
Adam: Perfect.

North: What are you? Some kind of guardian angel?
Narrator: Well, I guess you can say that, because in a manner of speaking we at Federal Express feel that we are guardians. Guardians of your most important packages and priority communique.

Joey Fingers: A bird in the hand is always greener than the grass under the other guy's bushes. It's a metaphor used by gardeners and landscaping people in general.

North: What are you doing here?
Gabby: Well, I finished all my chores, I thought I'd get a little shootin' in.
North: No, I mean, have you ever been an Easter Bunny?
Gabby: Easter Bunny?
Pa Tex: Careful, Son, Gabby's killed men for less than that.
North: Oh, sorry.
Gabby: No harm done.

North's Father: I saw some blood in my stool this morning.