David Brent: If you want the rainbow you got to take the rain too. You know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.
David Brent: I don't look upon this like it's the end, I look upon it like it's moving on, you know. It's almost like my work here's done. I can't imagine Jesus going 'Oh, I've told a few people in Bethlehem I'm the son of God, can I just stay here with Mum and Dad now?' No. You gotta move on. You gotta spread the word. You gotta go to Nazareth, please. And that's, very much like... Me. My world does not end within these four walls, Slough's a big place. And when I've finished with Slough, there's Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell, you know I've got to... Didcott, Yately. You know. My... Winnersh, Taplow. Because I am my own boss, I can... Burghfield. I can wake up one morning and go 'Ooh, I don't feel like working today, can I just stay in bed?' 'Ooh, don't know, better ask the boss.' 'David can I stay in bed all day?' 'Yes you can David.' Both me, that's not me in bed with another bloke called David.
Gareth: That's one reason why gays shouldn't be allowed into the army. Because if we're in battle, is he going to be looking at the enemy, or is he going to be looking at me and going "Ooh. He looks tasty in his uniform." And I'm not homophobic, all right? Come round, look at my CDs. You'll see Queen, George Michael, Pet Shop Boys. They're all bummers.
David Brent: You just have to accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
Christmas Special: Part 2 - S3-E2
David Brent: Hey Chris.
Chris Finch: Yeah?
David Brent: Why don't you fuck off?
Chosen answer: Yes, though the actor's name is Martin Freeman who plays the character of Tim in The Office.