Running Buffalo: Swell party, where's the whisky?
Mother in Diner: Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here, the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you're the cause of all this. I think you're evil. Evil!
Gardiner Fraleigh: Call your baby! My wife's having a husband.
Agrippa: Well versed in the natural sciences and mathematics. She speaks seven languages proficiently. Were she not a woman one would consider her to be an intellectual.
[Sir Charles Lytton kisses Princess Dala.]
Princess Dala: If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.
Sir Charles Lytton: No. If you were your father, I doubt very much if I would have kissed you.
James Bond: Red wine with fish. Well, that should have told me something.
Donald "Red" Grant: You may know the right wines, but you're the one on your knees. How does it feel old man?
Michael Patrick 'Guns' Donovan: Aw, Monk, you're not gonna let three guys take on one - even if it is Gilhooley.
Sergeant Monk Menkowicz: I seen it done.
Irma La Douce: Who wants to be a stray dog? You got to belong to someone, even if he kicks you once in a while.
Angie: Do you call everybody Charlie?
Steve: Only the people I dig.
Albert Poop-Decker: If you've got a heart of oak, it's got a worm in it.
Terry 'Pintpot' Tankard: Are you the boss or something?
Ted Watson: I'm what they call the something manager. My advice to you is to be off.
Terry 'Pintpot' Tankard: You mean buzz off?
Ted Watson: No, but you're getting warm.
Big Daddy: The pit! Bring me my pendulum, kiddies, I feel like swinging.