Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... And there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
Inga: Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?
Fredrick Frankenstein: MY NAME...IS FRANKENSTEIN!
Melody: I didn't get your name.
Lightfoot: Well, I didn't give it to ya'. My name is Lightfoot.
Melody: "Lightfoot"?
Lightfoot: That's right.
Melody: That's a dumb name. I mean, what kind of person would name a kid that, ya' know?
Lightfoot: What's your name?
Melody: Melody.
Lightfoot: "Melody"? That's not a dumb name?.. Hey, maybe we had the same father?
Larry Rayder: If a man was smart, you know what he'd do right now?
Deke: What?
Larry Rayder: I don't know. I thought maybe you'd know.
Doug Roberts: I don't know. Maybe they just oughta leave it the way it is. Kind of a shrine to all the bullshit in the world.
Lenny Bruce: "Fuck you." Never understood that insult, because fucking someone is actually really pleasant. If we're trying to be mean, we should say "unfuck you!"
Flo: She went to shit and the hogs ate her.
Stan: What a stupid conversation.
Mrs. Nocker: You got me out here with no where to sit.
Mr. Alvin T. Nocker: Why don't you sit on your fist and lean back on your thumb.
Lt. Rico Patrone: What's up, Z?
Lt. Garber: You won't believe it.
Lt. Rico Patrone: You know me, I'll believe anything.
Lt. Garber: A train has been hijacked.
Lt. Rico Patrone: I don't believe it.
Michael Corleone: I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!
Snow Miser's Men: He's Mister White Christmas, he's Mister Snow. He's Mr. Icicle, he's Mister 10 below.
Snow Miser: Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch. I'm too much.
Barb: I think the little buggers schnockered, son of a bitch.
Noah Cross: 'Course I'm respectable. I'm old. Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.
Gator: Hey Taffy, baby, come suck your daddy's dick.
Taffy: I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls.
Sam Royce: Barbara, take off your pantyhose, damnit! You too, c'mon, take off your pantyhose.
Bomb#20: In the beginning, there was darkness. And the darkness was without form, and void.
Boiler: What the hell is he talking about?
Bomb#20: And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness. And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light.
Earl Williams: You don't have to answer this, Mollie, but is it true what they said in the papers?
Mollie Malloy: Is what true?
Earl Williams: That you were going to marry me on the gallows.
Mollie Malloy: Well, if it's in the papers, it must be true. They wouldn't print a lie.
MiLady DeWinter: I have affairs to be settled.
Cardinal Richelieu: I'm not concerned with your affairs.
MiLady DeWinter: I would wish it.
Cardinal Richelieu: I'm not concerned with your wishes, Milady.