Surveillance Guy: Who the fuck are you?
Dignam: I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.
Alpa Chino: Man I'm tired of this Koala hugging Nig...
Kirk Lazarus: [Punches Alpa.] For 400 years, that word has kept us down.
Alpa Chino: What the... ?
Kirk Lazarus: It took a whole lot of trying, just to get up that hill, now... We're in the big leagues, getting our turn to bat, as long as we live, It's you and me baby, there ain't nothi...
Alpa Chino: Man, that's the theme song to The Jeffersons, man you really need help!
Kirk Lazarus: Hey, just 'cause it's a theme song don't make it not true.
Bob Parr: Why would they change math?
Jordan Belfort: I fucked her brains out... For eleven seconds.
Principal Mcgee: If you play an instrument, remember, it is better to play with a group then with yourself.
Hooper: You know those eight guys in the fantail launch out there? Well, none of 'em are gonna make it out of the harbor alive.
Inga: Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?
Fredrick Frankenstein: MY NAME...IS FRANKENSTEIN!
Mr. Han: You've already proven everything you needed to prove. Why do you still want to fight?
Dre Parker: Because I'm still scared. No matter what happens, tonight, after I leave, I don't want to be scared anymore.
Joe: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Sgt. Moses Hightower: Fools! To think they could kill the brother of Bedulah.
House: Uh-uh. I never thought that.
Sgt. Moses Hightower: Oh, that I could reach into the belly of a yak and rip out its heart.
Kyle: That would bring him back to life?
Sgt. Moses Hightower: No, man. I'm hungry.
Verbal Kint: The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
David Lightman: [On the computer] Hello, are you still playing the game?
Joshua: Of course. I should reach Defcon 1 and release my missiles in 28 hours. Would you like to see some projected kill ratios?
David Lightman: Sixty-nine percent of the housing destroyed. Seventy-two million people dead. [Types into computer] Is this a game or is it real?
Joshua: What's the difference?
Jimmy: Hey, Ted, where the hell is the corkscrew?
[Jason appears and shoves the corkscrew into Jimmy's hand]
Russell Casse: Hello boys! I'm baaack!
Larry: This is so not worth $11.50 an hour.
Clark Griswold: [reciting 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.] When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and...and Eddie with a man in his pajamas and a dog chain tied to his wrist and ankles. What the...?
Omi: It started with the wind, on a cold night, much like this. It was almost Christmas, but this Christmas was darker, less cheerful. But I still believed in Santa, in magic and miracles, and the hope that we could find joy again. But our village had given up on miracles, and on each other. They had forgotten the spirit of Christmas, the sacrifice of giving, and my family was no different. I tried to help them to believe again, but we were no longer the loving family I remembered. They too had given up. And eventually, so did I. And for the first time, I didn't wish for a miracle. I wished for them to go away. A wish I would come to regret. And that night, in the darkness of a howling blizzard... I got my wish. I knew Saint Nicholas was not coming this year. Instead, it was a much darker, more ancient spirit. The shadow of Saint Nicholas. It was... Krampus. And as he had for thousands of years, Krampus came not to reward, but to punish, not to give, but to take. He, and his helpers. I could only listen as they dragged my family into the underworld, knowing that I would be next. But Krampus did not take me that night. He left me, as a reminder of what happens when hope is lost, when belief is forgotten, and the Christmas spirit...dies.
Gimli: Certainty of death; small chance of success...what are we waiting for?