30th Dec 2016
The Implant - S4-E19
Timmy: What are you doing?
George: What?
Timmy: Did...did you just double-dip that chip?
George: Excuse me?
Timmy: You double-dipped the chip.
George: Double-dipped? What are you talking about?
Timmy: You dipped the chip, you took a bite...and you dipped again.
George: So?
Timmy: That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it.
30th Dec 2016
Jerry: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long-distance service?
Jerry: Oh, gee. I...I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later?
Telemarketer: Uh...well, I'm sorry. We're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
Telemarketer: No.
Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.
30th Dec 2016
Kramer: You're wasting your life.
George: I am not. What you call wasting, I call living. I'm living my life.
Kramer: Okay, like what? No, tell me. Do you have a job?
George: No.
Kramer: You got money?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have a woman?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have any prospects?
George: No.
Kramer: You got anything on the horizon?
George: Uh...no.
Kramer: Do you have any action at all?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?
George: I like to get the daily news.
8th Dec 2016
Sarah Conner: [to Kyle] So, you're remembering the future?
Pops: No. The boy is the alternate timeline version of you. Kyle Reese is remembering his own past, which is our future.
Sarah: That makes it so much better. How can he be remembering two timelines?
Pops: It is possible if you were exposed to a nexus point in the timeflow when you were in the quantum field...
Kyle: Can you...can you stop him from talking like that? Is there a switch or something?
Sarah: Pops, try again.
17th Aug 2016
Ray Stantz: You know, it's just occurred to me, we really haven't had a completely successful test of this equipment.
Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
Peter Venkman: So do I.
Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
10th Aug 2016
Who Shot Mr. Burns? (2) - S7-E1
Chief Wiggum: This bullet matches the one we took out of Burns. Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for attempted murder.
Homer Simpson: D'oh!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say "D'oh."
2nd Aug 2016
2nd Aug 2016
12th Jul 2016
Bill: You got the wrong file. When have I ever been a teacher?
Beverly: Look, you've got a Masters degree, that means you can teach.
Bill: No it doesn't. No, it only means hypothetically that I could.
Beverly: Come on, Bill. Now it's a good job. Six weeks. A decent salary. And you get to live there.
Bill: Beverly, I...I'll get my head blown off. Do you know how many kids carry guns to school these days?
Beverly: In this case all of them. I guess you didn't get to the "where" part.
2nd Jun 2016
2nd Jun 2016
Dusty: Hey, Lucky. What are you going to do with your share of the money?
Lucky: A car. A big, shiny, silver car. I'll drive all over Hollywood. Show Flugleman or thing or two. What about you?
Dusty: New York. Maybe Paris. Champagne. A lot of champagne. Parties. Be a big shot for a while. How about you, Ned?
Ned: I'm going to start a foundation to help homeless children.
Dusty: That, that occurred to me to do that first at one point, too.
Lucky: Well, I...I meant that I was, I would do that first and then I would get a big, shiny car.
31st May 2016
Vinny Gambini: Is it possible, the two youts-
Judge Haller: Uh, two what? What was that word?
Vinny Gambini: What word?
Judge Haller: Two what?
Vinny Gambini: What?
Judge Haller: Did you say "youts"?
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, two youts.
Judge Haller: What is a yout?
Vinny Gambini: Oh, excuse me, your honor. Two youths.
31st May 2016
President Thomas Whitmore: Sir, regardless of what you may have read in the tabloids, there have never been any spacecraft recovered by our government. Take my word for it, there's no Area 51. There's no recovered spaceship.
Albert Nimziki: Uh, excuse me, Mr. President. That's not entirely accurate.
31st May 2016
31st May 2016
Harry: That's very smart, Marv. You bust outta jail to rob 14 cents from a Santa Claus?
Marv: Every little bit helps. Besides, now we got our new nicknames. We're the Sticky Bandits.
31st May 2016
Kevin: Yikes! I did it again.
14th Apr 2016
Scott Lang: I didn't steal anything! I was returning something I stole.
8th Apr 2016
Albert Stark: That is our Mayor. He is dead. He's been lying there, dead, for three days. No one has done a thing. Not moved him, not looked into his death, not even replaced him with a temporary appointee. For the last three days, the highest ranking official in our town has been a dead guy. Oh! Look at that! Look at that! Wolves are dragging the body away as if to illustrate my point! Bye! Bye, Mr. Mayor! Bye! Have fun becoming wolf shit. Bye!
24th Mar 2016
Ed: I gotta ask this question, or I wouldn't be doing my job. Would you care to comment on the rumor that you, uh, arranged for an automobile to be purchased for Neon Bodeaux?
Coach Bell: You know [sighs]. You know, Ed, you've just gotta get your mind out of the gutter. You know, you just gotta to start thinking straight. I mean, it's right there in front of you. For christsake, it wasn't an automobile. I mean, it was a fully loaded Lexus.
19th Mar 2016
Earl Bassett: What kind of fuse is that?
Burt Gummer: Cannon fuse.
Earl Bassett: What the hell you use it for?
Burt Gummer: My cannon.
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