Jesse Stone: I'm jogging.
Dr. Dix: Jogging clears your mind?
Jesse Stone: I hate jogging.
Dr. Dix: Why bother?
Jesse Stone: It clears my mind.
Jesse Richter: When I'm about to kiss you, you'll know it.
E.B.: Hey, wait. You're not surprised I'm a talking rabbit.
David Hasselhoff: Little man, my best friend is a talking car.
Motherfucker Jones: I think I can help you boys.
Kurt Buckman: Are you a businessman?
Motherfucker Jones: Motherfucker Jones.
Dale Arbus: Your first name is 'Motherfucker?
Motherfucker Jones: My real name is Dean.
Nick Hendricks: Dean Jones, that's the same name of the actor in Herbie and the Love Bug.
Kurt Buckman: Yeah, he probably doesn't even know who that is.
Motherfucker Jones: I know who he is, bitch. I can't walk around this fucking neighborhood with that Disney-ass name.
Bernie Rose: Here's what I'm prepared to offer. You give me the money, the girl is safe. Forever. Nobody knows about her. She's off the map. I can't offer you the same. So, this is what I would suggest. We conclude our deal. We'll shake hands. You start the rest of your life. Any dreams you have, or plans, or hopes for your future... I think you're going to have to put that on hold. For the rest of your life you're going to be looking over your shoulder. I'm just telling you this because I want you to know the truth. But the girl is safe.
Mitch Planko: This is a calendar. It has a schedule of everything you need to do everyday. It is at least 15 hours in a day. This is a grocery store. People buy food here. If you are unsure, call your wife. Always make sure you call your wife first.
Conan: Run from me... and I will tear apart the mountains to find you! I will follow you to Hell.
Becca: You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!
Cecil Wilson: Well, this is obviously the panic room.
Rebecca Wilson: Why?
Cecil Wilson: 'Cause it's a room, and I'm panicking.
Danny Greene: Why stick our nose in Vietnam? The English have been doing that to the Irish for the last 2000 years. And by the way, how are we gonna pay for it, huh? Deficit spending, my ass! Next thing you know, we'll be going off the gold standard, this country's going to hell.
Chloe Patterson: Mom says you see them.
Will Atenton: Yeah.
Chloe Patterson: Could you tell them how much I miss them?
Will Atenton: Yeah.
Sgt. Major: At fourteen forty six pacific standard time, twelve different locations across the globe were breached in what appears to have been a coordinated attack by an unknown enemy. This is a textbook military invasion. We are the last offensive force on the west coast. We cannot lose Los Angeles.
King John: I am the blood! I am God's right hand! And you will never dictate to me how I am to be a king.
Jack Mindy: So you can imagine when he arrived a few years back, he was about as popular as a snake in a sleeping bag.
Mr. Popper: Hello! I have to send the penguins back.
Voice On Phone: Send-da-penguin?
Mr. Popper: Yes, send penguins.
Esca: How can a piece of metal mean so much to you?
Marcus Aquila: The eagle is not a piece of metal. The eagle is Rome.
Emilio Restrepo: That's what you want? You want me to teach you how to be a killer? Sure. No problem. I teach you. But you'll be dead in five years. If you want to be a killer and survive, you got to be a smart one. You have to know things besides how to pull a trigger. You have to know how the world works, how people think. You got to learn and understand how to be psychological. And I cannot teach you that unless you learn the basics at a school.