Jake Adams: Well if I wasn't your first, at least I can be your last.
Ally Darling: Why? Are you going to rape and kill me?
Rose Narracott: I might hate you more, but I'll never love you less.
Bernie Rose: Here's what I'm prepared to offer. You give me the money, the girl is safe. Forever. Nobody knows about her. She's off the map. I can't offer you the same. So, this is what I would suggest. We conclude our deal. We'll shake hands. You start the rest of your life. Any dreams you have, or plans, or hopes for your future... I think you're going to have to put that on hold. For the rest of your life you're going to be looking over your shoulder. I'm just telling you this because I want you to know the truth. But the girl is safe.
Julian Goldstein: What are you afraid of?
Marley Corbett: I'm scared this entire night's gonna go by and you'll never wanna kiss me.
Dr. Sebring: Let's see. The centipede can be considered a phallic symbol. Centipedes are very aggressive creatures. Their bite can be very painful. Maybe he's connecting the pain that a centipede inflicts with the pain inflicted on him through use of psychological and sexual abuse by his father.
Dean Ziegler: There's a separation between religion and insurance. It's in the constitution.
Becca: You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!
Danny Greene: Why stick our nose in Vietnam? The English have been doing that to the Irish for the last 2000 years. And by the way, how are we gonna pay for it, huh? Deficit spending, my ass! Next thing you know, we'll be going off the gold standard, this country's going to hell.
Johnny English: You mean there's a mole AND a vole?
Kate Reddy: I love being a mother of a two-year old. It is like being a movie star in a world without critics.
King John: I am the blood! I am God's right hand! And you will never dictate to me how I am to be a king.
Eva: Haven't you ever wished you had somebody else around to play with?
Kevin, 6-8 Years: No.
Eva: You might like it.
Kevin, 6-8 Years: What if I don't like it?
Eva: Then you get used to it.
Kevin, 6-8 Years: Just because you're used to something doesn't mean you like it. You're used to me.
Eva: Yes, well, in a few months we're all gonna get used to somebody new.
Pastor Hunt: I have heard many people say, who have lost a loved one, that in some ways it is like learning to live with an amputation. You do heal, but you are never the same.
Esca: How can a piece of metal mean so much to you?
Marcus Aquila: The eagle is not a piece of metal. The eagle is Rome.
E.B.: Hey, wait. You're not surprised I'm a talking rabbit.
David Hasselhoff: Little man, my best friend is a talking car.
Steve: This is Germany, Father. They drive on the right. National dish: sausage.
Thadeous: Quests suck!
Mitch Planko: This is a calendar. It has a schedule of everything you need to do everyday. It is at least 15 hours in a day. This is a grocery store. People buy food here. If you are unsure, call your wife. Always make sure you call your wife first.