Sarrab: Poor Uday. Sometimes I think he wants to fuck himself to death.
Peter: Man, you've really grown up.
Arthur Jacobs: Marilyn, is it true you wear nothing in bed but Perfume?
Marilyn Monroe: Darling, as I'm in England let's say I sleep in nothing but Yardley's lavender.
Col. Woodrow Dolarhyde: I want that man! You give him to me now, or I'm gonna take him!
Maharajah of Pikachu: Please, Shiek Alleycat! I insist you take this Maharajah Talk 5000. You'll find it more valuable.
Top Cat: Why? Can it turn into rubies, too?
John Bunting: Do you like bein' fucked? Do you like bein' fucked? So why not do somethin' about it? 'Cause all I ever see you do is sook, mate. No? What didjah do about Jeffrey? Fuckin' nothin'. You see me and Robert mopin' about? Hmm? No you don't because you do that they fuck you forever. You don't want that, do you? When are you gonna grow some balls, mate?
Dr. Alfred Jones: When things get tricky in my life, I talk to my fish.
Margine Frumkin: Reputations are just history in rumour form. You can change it.
Gracie: I thought you were gay.
Neil Patrick Harris: I am gay! Gay for that pussy.
Ida Horowicz: Hey, Steve. I'm still your friend, right?
Stephen Meyers: You're my best friend, Ida.
Jeff: You know what? I have a asshole for a brother and it breaks my heart.
Matt Franklin: I'm... I'm just messed up, OK? I don't know what I want to do. And I'm sorry I'm such a fucking failure.
Bill Franklin: You haven't really failed, son, because you haven't really tried to succeed. So don't credit yourself as a failure. You're worse than that.
Matt Franklin: I just can't figure it out, Dad.
Bill Franklin: Don't cry like that in jail, son.
Sergeant Joe Tane: There's bad shit going on here. Bad shit.
Captain Ben Grogan: Bastards. Fucking Nazi bastards.
Sergeant Joe Tane: No. That's not our war, that's not our fight. The gun, that's our mission.
Captain Ben Grogan: Fuck the mission.
Sergeant Joe Tane: Jesus Christ. We leave, now. We get out alive, we get back home. We get fucking medals for this. The girls will be falling all over us.
Captain Ben Grogan: Give me ten minutes, Joe.
Sergeant Joe Tane: Five.
Oskar Schell: If the sun were to explode, you wouldn't even know about it for 8 minutes because that's how long it takes for light to travel to us.
Oskar Schell: For eight minutes the world would still be bright and it would still feel warm.
Oskar Schell: It was a year since my dad died and I could feel my eight minutes with him... were running out.
Lotterman: How does anyone drink 161 miniatures?
Paul Kemp: Are they not complimentary?
Kyle Miller: In your hands they go back to being nothing but rocks. Just, just pretty, shiny little rocks.
Mary: You know, I don't, I don't know about this.
Judy: Oh, shut up, Mary. When was the last time someone fucked you so hard you couldn't walk?
Vincent Brazil: This is my contract.
Roland Flint: It's personal.
Vincent Brazil: If you lose me my fee, that's personal to me.
Mr. O'Brien: Toscanini once recorded a piece sixty five times. You know what he said when he finished?"It could be better." Think about it.
Matt King: Paradise? Paradise can go fuck itself.