Bryan Callen: I'll tell you what: you do that to someone on the street and they'd lock you up and throw away the key! Break out the yellow tape, Sam. Tommy's walking away from the cage like he's leaving a crime scene.
John Bunting: Do you like bein' fucked? Do you like bein' fucked? So why not do somethin' about it? 'Cause all I ever see you do is sook, mate. No? What didjah do about Jeffrey? Fuckin' nothin'. You see me and Robert mopin' about? Hmm? No you don't because you do that they fuck you forever. You don't want that, do you? When are you gonna grow some balls, mate?
Blake: What are all these sharks doing here?
Nick: I dunno. Maybe someone put them there.
Tina: But I got your back now Noah, because I found out you got some big ass balls, man.
Noah Griffith: Can't buy underwear, balls don't fit.
Ethan: The Hamptons are like a zombie movie directed by Ralph Lauren.
Kyle: They're eating him alive like some fucked up fondue.
B-Dawg: I have a plan.
Mudbud: B-Dawg has a plan?
B-Dawg: I can have a plan.
Sarah Miller: Open it so we can all die, 'cause I don't give a fuck anymore.
Rick Malloy: We're gonna go to jail! We're gonna die! Probably both.
Josh Kovacs: Yes! Yes! Yes! Join me.
The Phantom: So it is to be war between us! If these demands are not met a disaster beyond all imagination will occur.
William Bludworth: Death... doesn't like to be cheated.
Rusty: Now, when you said you were gonna wear a cowboy hat, I didn't know how I'd feel about it.
Willard: And now that you've seen me in it, what's the verdict?
Rusty: I think you're sexier than socks on a rooster.
Willard: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Rusty: I mean it, stud.
Matt Franklin: I'm... I'm just messed up, OK? I don't know what I want to do. And I'm sorry I'm such a fucking failure.
Bill Franklin: You haven't really failed, son, because you haven't really tried to succeed. So don't credit yourself as a failure. You're worse than that.
Matt Franklin: I just can't figure it out, Dad.
Bill Franklin: Don't cry like that in jail, son.
Sarrab: Poor Uday. Sometimes I think he wants to fuck himself to death.
Pinhead: When this existence ceases to fulfill... we will be waiting.
Skyler: How'd you come up with that?
Sean: I don't know. Shark Week.
Pastor Abin Cooper: You're already dead sinner. You destroyed your spirit in a waste of shame.
Mary: You know, I don't, I don't know about this.
Judy: Oh, shut up, Mary. When was the last time someone fucked you so hard you couldn't walk?
Dr. Alfred Jones: When things get tricky in my life, I talk to my fish.
Batman: Twelve years. And the ache is still fresh. Like a raw angry nerve. But this isn't about healing. I'm not looking for closure.