Jacob Black: You kill her, you kill me.
Granny Puckett: A person can never really fail unless they give up.
Kate: Tell her she's the perfect combination of sexy and cute, asshole!
Elizabeth Halsey: Well, that's my spiel, as the Jews say.
Griffin Keyes: How long have you been able to talk?
Donald the Monkey: Let's see, today's Tuesday so... Always.
Smurfette: I kissed a Smurf, and liked it?
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, these men are armed and dangerous, and you being an FBI agent you're more used to shooting at unarmed women and children...
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh, fuck you, Sergeant!
Collyer's Mother: Beware of passion, Hester. It always leads to something ugly.
Hester Collyer: What would you replace it with?
Collyer's Mother: A guarded enthusiasm. It's safer.
Po: Ah. My old enemy... Stairs.
Philippe Weis: For a few to be immortal, many must die.
Will Salas: Wrong!
Colter Stevens: What would you do if you knew you only had one minute to live?
Christina Warren: I'd make those seconds count.
Colter Stevens: I'd kiss you again.
Christina Warren: Again?
Madea: Sit down you black leprechaun looking like you're out of a damn box of chocolate, lucky charms.
Dwayne: Sometimes fate pulls out its big ol' cock and slaps you right in the face.
Arthur Bishop: Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.