Natalie Geary: Let me welcome you to our humble commode.
Elizabeth Halsey: Well, that's my spiel, as the Jews say.
Griffin Keyes: How long have you been able to talk?
Donald the Monkey: Let's see, today's Tuesday so... Always.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, these men are armed and dangerous, and you being an FBI agent you're more used to shooting at unarmed women and children...
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh, fuck you, Sergeant!
Po: Ah. My old enemy... Stairs.
Philippe Weis: For a few to be immortal, many must die.
Will Salas: Wrong!
Dr. Ellis Cheever: What have you eaten? I mean something that didn't come from a vending machine.
Dr. Erin Mears: Taco Bell!
Colter Stevens: What would you do if you knew you only had one minute to live?
Christina Warren: I'd make those seconds count.
Colter Stevens: I'd kiss you again.
Christina Warren: Again?
Jacob Black: You kill her, you kill me.
Granny Puckett: A person can never really fail unless they give up.
Kate: Tell her she's the perfect combination of sexy and cute, asshole!
Mrs. Elton: A lot of rubbish is talked about love. You know what real love is? It's wiping someone's arse or changing the sheets when they've wet themselves. And letting them keep their dignity so you can both go on.
Dwayne: Sometimes fate pulls out its big ol' cock and slaps you right in the face.
Arthur Bishop: Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.
Kato: I was born in Shanghai. You know Shanghai?
Britt Reid: Yeah, I love Japan.