Jack Byrnes: I'm watching you.
Greg Focker: Yeah, well I have eyes too, so I'll be watching you... Watching me.
Hal: Well, let's say.
Oliver: Arthur, down.
Hal: ...let's say since you were little, and... and you... you always dreamed of... of someday getting a lion, and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait, and the lion doesn't come. Then along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe.
Oliver: I'd wait for the lion.
Hal: That's why I worry about you.
Libby: You tell everyone you know! That anytime some stupid fucking bastard wants to commit some gay ass crime that Crimson Bolt and Boltie are gonna be there to crush their little fucking evil heads in.
Alex: Forgive you? For kissing me? You've awoken me. It's ages since I felt so alive.Thanks to you. But it's too late for me. I'm far away from here. I can't fall in love again. But you - you deserve the best.
Kate: There has to be another way for us to get to Jasper.
Marcel: Another way... another way... always another way... what am i... a travel agent?
Tucker: What am I supposed to say, Dale?"Oh hidy-ho officer! We've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house when kids started killing themselves all over my property."
Dale: Yeah, yeah, just like that.
Tucker: They're never gonna believe that.
Dale: But that's exactly what happened.
Bob Quimby: Ramona, your sister has a report card. Doesn't that mean you should have one too?
Ramona Quimby: Uh... No.
Mr. Washington: Read him a bedtime story.
P.K. Highsmith: Ay, ay, ay! You shut your face! If I wanna hear you talk, I'll shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet! You hear me? You hear me?!
Aaron Green: Nothing you say makes any sense, I understand that now, you're just a fucking junkie and you're smart so you make your insanity sound, good but its bullshit.
Parrot: I love you, Mr Maynard.
Victor Maynard: What the fuck?
Steve-O: How many stings do you think we can take?
Manny Puig: I think it takes about 100 to kill a man.
Dave England: Are you serious? Did you just make that number up? There's 50,000 bees and it takes 100 to kill a man?
Manny Puig: I think it takes 100.
Loomis Fall: Then what are we doing here?
Manny Puig: Making a hit movie.
Spencer Aimes: We've been married for three years and we've never been more than five minutes away from your parents. They're always coming over and your dad's all... all... Well, uh, this is how the Kornfeldt's load the dishwasher. And, mow the lawn clockwise 'cause that's the Kornfeldt way. Take this piece of coal, stick it up your kiester, squeeze it real tight like we do, and you'll and make a Kornfeldt diamond.
Al: The whole point of love is to put someone else's needs above your own.
Kenny Loftus: Your momma is so fat, you have to roll her in flour, then dive for the wet spot.
Nick Halsey: Do you know what that means?
Kenny Loftus: No.
Nick Halsey: Yeah, maybe don't tell that one.
Edgar Frog: Death to all vampires?
Alan Frog: Maximum body count.
Edgar Frog: We are awesome monster bashers.
Alan Frog: The meanest.
Edgar Frog: The baddest.