Caliban: This island is mine.
Barry: Vincent Van Gogh. Everyone said to him, "You can't be a great painter, you only have one ear." And you know what he said?"I can't hear you."
John 'Spud' Milton: I don't know about you Sir, but drinking just makes me sad. It's like the more you drink, the sadder you get... and the sadder you get the more you drink.
Tess: Is that Tamara Drewe who writes the column in one of the Sundays?
Beth Hardiment: Used to. Writes for the Independent now. She spent weeks going on about her nose job. Smart way to pay for it I suppose.
Tess: Was her old one an awful conk?
Nicholas Hardiment: Yes.
Ma-Ti: You're a fool, Critic! A damn fool! You cannot change your destiny! You can only choose to meet it... and you will fail.