Darla: I'm a naughty schoolgirl!
Barry: You look a little old to be a schoolgirl.
John 'Spud' Milton: I don't know about you Sir, but drinking just makes me sad. It's like the more you drink, the sadder you get... and the sadder you get the more you drink.
Aldous Snow: I was watching the news one day and I saw footage about, uh, war, and I think it was Darfur, or Zimbabwe, or Rwanda, or one of 'em, and I thought, 'this isn't right, is it?' And I made some phone calls and it turns out, it isn't.
Glen McCreavy: Why does the asshole always get the girl?
Ma-Ti: You're a fool, Critic! A damn fool! You cannot change your destiny! You can only choose to meet it... and you will fail.