Ryder: Life is simple now. They just have to do what I say.
John Connor: I knew it. I knew it was coming. But this is not the future my mother warned me about. And in this future, I don't know if we can win this war. This is John Connor.
Thomas Huxley: Mr Darwin, sir? Either you are being disingenuous or you do not fully understand your own theory. Evidently, what is true of the barnacle is true of all creatures, even humans. The Almighty can no longer claim to have authored every species in under a week. You've killed God, sir! You've killed God.
Michael Jackson: This is the moment. This is it.
Julie: I know what you've got. You've got a gateway to hell under your house. And that is really cool.
Arkin: Stupid fucking cat.
Ronnie Barnhardt: Yuens, you guys are my infantry. One of you dies, God gave me another one.
Matt Yuen: Okay.
John Yuen: Awesome.
Dr. Lars: It's too early to know who's winning the fight: the medicine or the disease.
George Simmons: Did anybody ever tell you, you have a very scary accent?
Dr. Lars: You are a very funny man. I enjoy your movies.
George Simmons: And I enjoy all of your movies.
Dr. Lars: Which movies?
George Simmons: The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis.
Gavner Purl: There are no real generals left, hombre. You and I, we're the last of the Mo-Freakins.
Father MacAvoy: God, I need a drink.
Lai Lai Zhen: You drink too much, and your eyes give you away. You damage your liver.
Father MacAvoy: That's just perfect. That's just exactly what I need. Health advice from a hit man.
Seth Rogen: Your love glass is half full.
The Sea Captain: God has damned me. God has damned us all. Truly, life is hell, and death's rough hand her only deliverance.
Pamela Voorhees: Did you know a young boy drowned here? He was my son. And today, is his birthday.
Pastor John: I used to be like you.
Corey: What, you had a training bra?
Pastor John: Not exactly. When I was your age, I experienced things that made me feel like God didn't exist. Maybe you've experienced something like that too.
Sam: You don't know anything about me.
Pastor John: I can see that you're in pain.
Sam: I'm alive.
Pastor John: Is that how you see life?
Sam: Till farts taste like cherries, yeah.
Corey: What do you think God's farts taste like?
Sam: Marshmallow Peeps.
Eric: I am not a man... I am Cantona.
Captain Tony Stone: Civilian life's for people who ain't seen shit. It's too late for you, you've already seen the shit, you can't unsee it anymore. You can't be an insurance salesman now, brother, it's too fukin' late.
Solomon Kane: My God. Only you can help me now.
Vince Rizzo: Did you sleep outside last night?
Vince Jr.: No, no, no. I did heroin with a bunch of prostitutes at the Plaza Hotel. I'm thinking of becoming a pimp.
Vince Rizzo: Good. I'll see you later.
Blaster: I'm pretty sure this is animal cruelty. [His remote controlled car jumps over toys.] WOOOHOO! But I love it!