Matt: I love you... I have a condom.
Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... It's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... Just... Moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
Esther: I think people should always try to take the bad things that happen to them in their lives, and turn them into something good. Don't you?
Dominic Toretto: It starts with the eyes. She's gotta have those kind of eyes that can look right through the bullshit, to the good in someone. 20% angel,80% devil. Down to earth. Ain't afraid to get a little engine grease under her fingernails.
Gisele Harabo: That doesn't sound anything like me.
Dominic Toretto: It ain't.
Ebenezer Scrooge: What do you want with me?
Jacob Marley: You will be haunted by three spirits.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I'd rather not.
Megatron: Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
Optimus Prime: You'll never stop at one... I'll take you all on!
Mr. Bobinski: The problem is my new songs go 'ooompa, ooompa' but the jumping mice play only 'toodle toot' like that. It's nice but not so much amazing. So now, I switch to stronger cheese and pretty soon, WATCH OUT!
Paul Blart: Safety never takes a holiday.
Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?
Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?
Principal Jane Masterson: You can plunder my dungeon anytime.
Ned Gold: I'll bring my longbow.
Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin' "got" and somebody done "got" you and you go "get" them, when you get 'em everybody's gon' get got.
Dr. Phil: Yeah but you're gettin' the gotters when they didn't do anything to even get you.
Madea: Yeah but if the gotters get me I'm gonna get my glock.
[Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume.]
Tallahassee: It's ok. But FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.
Jack Bruno: Don't go in the pimped out fridge Jack.
Ham Egg: Stop! The Laws of Robotic! You can't hurt a human! It's been that way for 50 years.
Zog: I'm old school.
Margaret Tate: If you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?
Jackson Curtis: When they tell you not to panic... That's when you run!
The Man: I told the boy when you dream about bad things happening, it means you're still fighting and you're still alive. It's when you start to dream about good things that you should start to worry.
Clyde Shelton: I'm gonna pull the whole thing down. I'm gonna bring the whole fuckin' diseased, corrupt temple down on your head. It's gonna be biblical.