Best movie quotes of 2009

Payton: Maybe this is a bad time to tell you, but the door is open.
Bower: Are you fucking kidding me?
Payton: Ya I'm kidding you.

Michael Jackson: This is the moment. This is it.

Wes Wilson: I'll put in my next book. How does that sound?
Isaac: Like having my balls licked by a porcupine.

Bliss Cavendar: Screw you and your grandmother's Chevy Celebrity.

Tucker Cleigh: Well the country is like, what, 10 states wide? And each state is roughly 100 miles across. So that's like 1000 miles. We're going about 60 miles an hour, so we should be there in like 600 minutes.

Sam Shapiro: Writers are vampires. I'm waiting for the right girl to come along and make me a human being.

Bobby: We just saved about a billion lives there.

Sadie - age 9: Aram! Aram.
Frank Jr. - age 7: Mom is dead.
Aram Finklestein: What?
Frank Jr. - age 7: Come on.
Aram Finklestein: She's not dead.
Sadie - age 9: Could be post-mortem twitch.

Lord Henry Wotton: What are you?
Dorian Gray: I am what you made me! I lived the life that you preached... but never dared practice. I am everything, that you were too afraid to be.

Father MacAvoy: God, I need a drink.
Lai Lai Zhen: You drink too much, and your eyes give you away. You damage your liver.
Father MacAvoy: That's just perfect. That's just exactly what I need. Health advice from a hit man.

Driver: Are you all right?
Jess: Who are you?
Driver: I'm just a driver... No point trying to save the boy, there's nothing anyone can do to bring him back. So... Can I give you a ride?
Jess: Yes. Take me to the harbor.

Abbey Tyler: An encounter in the first kind, that's when you see a UFO. The second kind is when you see evidence of it: crop circles, radiation. The third kind is when you make contact. But the fourth kind, there's nothing more frightening than the fourth. You see, that one is when they abduct you.

The Sea Captain: God has damned me. God has damned us all. Truly, life is hell, and death's rough hand her only deliverance.

Arkin: Stupid fucking cat.

Israelite: You say the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. When exactly will it be?
Jesus: When you deregulate the banking industry.

Title Card: During the 1980s over 70% of American adults believed in the existence of abusive Satanic Cults... Another 30% rationalized the lack of evidence due to government cover ups... The following is based on true unexplained events.

Thomas Huxley: Mr Darwin, sir? Either you are being disingenuous or you do not fully understand your own theory. Evidently, what is true of the barnacle is true of all creatures, even humans. The Almighty can no longer claim to have authored every species in under a week. You've killed God, sir! You've killed God.

Javier: Much has been written about the art of bullfighting, but I can sum it up in one sentence: get out of the way of the bull, you idiot! Otherwise he will rip open your anus like it was a cheap velcro wallet.

Tommy Frigo: Don't get all drunk and fall asleep.
James Brennan: Why?
Tommy Frigo: 'Cause i'll jack off on your face.

Guido Contini: Hold on to me, mama. Don't let me wake from this.