Chev Chelios: [After catching Johnny Vang.] Did I just drop some change, or did I hear a chink?
General John Bell Hood: Venal and evil men are destroying the world you were born in. It's us against them my good friend. Don't compromise your principles or abandon your cause.
Malcolm Tucker: Fuckety-bye-bye then!
John Dillinger: They ain't tough enough, smart enough or fast enough. I can hit any bank I want, any time. They got to be at every bank, all the time.
Anna McDoogles: I was just masturbating.
Mark Bellison: That... Makes me think of your vagina.
Hermione Granger: She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the Chosen One.
Harry Potter: But I AM the Chosen One.
Richter: You said they'd be killed publicly.
Robert Langdon: Yes, revenge. For La Purga.
Richter: La Purga?
Robert Langdon: Oh geez, you guys don't even read your own history do you? 1668, the church kidnapped four Illuminati scientists and branded each one of them on the chest with the symbol of the cross. To 'purge' them of their sins and they executed them, threw their bodies in the street as a warning to others to stop questioning church ruling on scientific matters. They radicalized them. The Purga created a darker, more violent Illuminati, one bent on... On retribution.
Jigsaw: You think it's the living who have the ultimate judgment over you, because the dead have no claim over your soul. But you may be mistaken.
Dug: My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I can talk. Squirrel!.My master is good and smart.
Carl: It's not possible!
Dug: It is, because my master is smart.
Journalist: How would you define your approach to management, apart from being brilliant?
Brian Clough: Good lad.
Ed Oswald: My granddaddy used to work down there. One time, him and two of his buddies broke into a whole new cave system. Really big. Company bosses figured there should be some rick picking to be had, so they sent my granddaddy back down to have a look-see. He never come back. Folks reckoned they must've broke clean through into hell. The devil was mighty pissed.
Queen Adelaide: You are confusing stubbornness with strength, my dear. And I warn you, the people will not like you for it.
Babs Merrick: If he pulls this one off, I'll eat my own pussy.
Camilla: Some women, Annabelle, are born great: Cleopatra, the queen, me. Some become great, like Mother Teresa or Lady Gaga. Others have greatness thrust upon them, like Monica Lewinsky.
Rabbi Nachtner: Sy Ableman was a serious man.
Larry Daley: I'm sorry. Last time I checked, I thought we lived in a free country. So...
Smithsonian Security Guard: No, we don't.
Larry Daley: No?
Smithsonian Security Guard: It's the United States of "Don't Touch That Thing Right in Front of You."