Professor Turner: She fucks like an epileptic at a strobe light convention.
Wallace: But Piella, you're the Bake-O-Lite girl.
Piella Bakewell: Was the Bake-O-Lite girl. I ate too much, you see.
Wallace: Oh, really?
Piella Bakewell: I couldn't ride the balloon anymore.
Wallace: Oh dear.
Piella Bakewell: So they dropped me.
Wallace: What a blow. Ooh.
Piella Bakewell: ME! A curse on bakers and their loathsome confections.
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: The eighties fucking ruled, man, until that pussy Cobain came and fucked it all up.
Robbie: I wrote a song about you.
Georgia Nicolson: Really?!
Robbie: Yeah. It's called "Bitch in Uniform."
Emmit: You're the bitch.
Filkins: Huh?
Emmit: Aaaaah that's right.
Nim Rusoe: Nobody invades my island and gets away with it.
Gail: Usually he's harder than trigonometry.
Gloria: Found any water yet?
Moto Moto: No, just more diamonds and gold.
Jackie Moon: Fuck you Clarence! Spumoni.
Chloe: You don't scare me anymore.
Diablo: Then why are you shaking?
Chloe: Cause I am a Chihuahua.
John Grogan: A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.
Shane Gray: That's the song.
Nate: So that must be the girl.
Jason: Ya think?
Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking "Holy shit, holy shit! A swordfish almost went through my head"? If so, yes.
Kumar Patel: I've never sucked a dick before. I bet it sucks dick!
Juan Antonio: Well, now that the day's almost over, is it reasonable of me to ask you if you'll both join me in my room?
Vicky: Oh, come on, I thought we'd settled that.
Cristina: Vicky's just trying to say that she's engaged to be married, that's all.
Juan Antonio: Great. Then these are her last days of freedom.
Vicky: No. Look, I'm not free. I'm committed. You know what my theory is? And when I drink, I get brutally frank. I think that you're still hurting from the failure of your marriage to Maria Elena, and you're trying to lose yourself in empty sex.
Juan Antonio: Empty sex? Do you have such a low opinion of yourself?
The Silent Monk: Learn the form, but seek the formless. Hear the soundless. Learn it all, then forget it all. Learn The Way, then find your own way.
Carter Rutherford: I thought you liked me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Look, she's too old for you.
Lexie Littleton: What? Well, you're too old for me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Well, you got me on that one.
Baker Smith: Herb will get you through times with no money, better than money will get you through times with no herb.
Bridget Cardigan: We'll think outside the box.
Don Cardigan: Well that's good because we're selling the box and moving into a smaller box.