Adele Lack: Everyone is disappointing the more you know them.
Bill Maher: And I see you've got a lot of bling.
Jeremiah Cummings: I like gold. The people want you to look well.
Bill Maher: That's what pimps say about their women.
Hater: This is my lesbian sister. Tell them about your softball team, tell them about your team.
Bertram Pincus: We live alone, and then we die alone. And apparently, we stay alone.
Brand Hauser: Did you know that the word "person" comes from the Latin word "persona", which means mask? So maybe being human means we invite spectators to ponder what lies behind. Each of us will be composed of a variety of masks, and if we can see behind the mask, we would get a burst of clarity. And if that flame was bright enough, that's when we fall in love. What's your opinion on these divine matters?
Natalie Hegalhuzen: I'm not going to fuck you. You know that, right?
Dana Marschz: Oh my god, writing is so hard.
Molly Johnson: All the world's great civilizations have followed the same path. From bondage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy back to bondage. If we are to be the exception to history, then we must break the cycle, for those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Yôko: Jesus, I approve of you as the only cool man besides Kurt Cobain.
Nick: If anyone is getting raped in that van, it'll be a guy.
Scott Bartlett: So are we really going to like do it?
Adrianna Bragg: Do you really think we should talk about it?
Ray Embrey: People don't like you, Hancock.
Hancock: Do I look like I care what people think?
Delaney: What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!
Guru Tugginmypudha: Good distraction frees us from emotional pain. Bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz.
Carrie Mae: The only magic I ever did was try to figure out how to stay in college for nine years and not go back to my trailer park in Idaho.
Surfing Instructor: When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons, ' and bail.
Durell: Promise me somethin. Promise me you'll be better than me.
Durell Jr.: OK. You promise me somethin. Promise me you won't let mom take me to Atlanta. Please.
Rose Lorkowski: There's not a lot that I am good at. But I'm good at getting guys to want me. Not date me, or marry me, but want me.