Jackie Moon: Fuck you Clarence! Spumoni.
Father Pat the Ref: Corndogs, Jackie! Corndogs, for all these people.
Clarence 'Coffee' Black: Who the fuck is Bambi?
Jackie Moon: ELE! Everybody love everybody.
Jackie Moon: In the anals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.
Jackie Moon: It feels like I got cat piss in my eyes.
Dick Pepperfield: Well, we've got an especially dirty hippy here down on the court trying to sink an impossible shot.
Jackie Moon: I'm so excited I can't feel my arms.
Dick Pepperfield: Here comes the Alley... and there goes the Oop.
Jackie Moon: Damnit, Vakidis! Learn fucking English.
Jackie Moon: Use small children as shields, bears like soft tender meat.
Jackie Moon: Everyone can eat shit! A big bag of shit.
Jackie Moon: There'll be a lotta television cameras out there so we just gotta be tip top.
Clarence 'Coffee' Black: So what's the plan?
Jackie Moon: Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
Bee Bee Ellis: What the hell is that?
Jackie Moon: It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
Monix: Oh yeah... Let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.
Dick Pepperfield: Jackie's teammates doing just an awful job of stabilizing his spine off the court.
Jackie Moon: Oh fuck that shit! Spumoni.
Jackie Moon: No refunds, consider your refund escaping this death trap with your lives.
Lou Redwood: Jackie Moon is Flint's favorite son. And he has done more for this city than any human being who's ever lived on this planet.
Dick Pepperfield: With the possible exception of eh, Henry Ford... Jackie Moon has done a lot for this city, you're right about that.
