Professor Turner: See I always knew your mom was the best it was ever going to get for me. And I never asked the more important question which is, was I the best it was ever going to get for her?
Professor Turner: She fucks like an epileptic at a strobe light convention.
Tank: I tried like a motherfucker to follow you in. But this door does like a lock thing when you are inside. Anyway here is what I'm thinking, we start with a blow job. I turn what most girls think is a chore into a training session.
Tank: The only funny thing that will ever come out of you, is me!
Professor Turner: The truth will set you free but before it does, it's gonna piss you off!
Tank: [sitting watching "Ghost" and crying.] God, I'm a fag.
Tank: Whats the plan for tonight? Bring this girl back here. Pop open a bottle of chloroform. Insert tab A in slot B, repeat as necessary.
Tank: How was I suppose to know it was your sister? How was I suppose to know? It was dark, I was drunk and I thought it was you. Oh she's pregnant, too? You tell your sister, I will make a donation to planned parenthood in her honor.
