Cesar: There's something more to this place. Our cells don't work. Neither does the T.V. Or radio. We're isolated.
Richard Langley: Whoever in this room who knows what goes on in the mind of the person who sleeps next to you... please, raise your hand... I know you can't, not honestly.
Wilson: Misanthrope seeks misanthrope. Honestly, if you respond to this ad then you are probably not the kind of woman I'd go out with. I guess I'm lonely and it's new years and I'm willing to embarrass the hell out of myself with this ad. About me: My girlfriends over the years have been intelligent and beautiful, in the end they have all broken my heart, whatever that means. My friend says I have to have a foto, so here it is. Talk to you soon. Wilson.
Cherry Darling: Name's Cherry Darling.
El Wray: Sounds like a stripper name.
Cherry Darling: No, it sounds like a go-go dancer name. There's a difference.
King: You think there's only one woman in the whole kingdom who wears a size four-and-a-half?
Prince Charming: It's all I have to go on here.
Turner Claymore: Here at Berm-Tech we offer you a handshake, whether you have hands, hooks, or flippers.
Silas: I gonna drop you like K-Fed.
Eddie Lorenzo: A man's gonna do anything for his family.
Dex: You don't look happy. Mind if I call you "Groucho"?
Andrew 'Andy' Hanson: No, I don't mind.
Miranda Hollander: For their punishment Zeus gave them women.
Alan Johnson: Better bring out the big guns on this one. She's crazy with a side of crazy.
Larry McCoy: I'm getting too fat for this shit.
Burwell: You've been a bad girl, haven't you Lindsay?
Ian: It's funny how life has a life of its own.
Dr. Godfrey: It's true! Vagina Dentata! Vagina Dentata! Vagina Dentata!
Dennis: I can lose weight, but you'll always be an asshole!
Mr. Edward Magorium: Mutant, have you come to take me up on my hula hoop challenge?
Hertz: Come on, Smith, come on, guns don't kill people - but they sure help.
Stump: I'm not gonna let you bastards get me. Not me, not today. That is not gonna happen.