Brendan: Why are your eyes so red?
Francis: Why is your head so bald?
H.W. Plainview: How much are we gonna pay them?
Plainview: Who's that?
H.W. Plainview: Sunday family.
Plainview: Well, I'm not gonna give them oil prices. I'll give them quail prices.
Melanie 'Mel' Whitfield: So, technically, you slept with Santa?
Kelli Whitfield: Well, I didn't know he was Santa at the time... but technically, I guess I did.
Melanie 'Mel' Whitfield: Well, ho, ho, ho.
Alvin: I feel like P. Diddy with fur.
Romulus Augustus: Mother, am I now the most powerful man in the world?
Flavia: Of course you are.
Romulus Augustus: Then why can't I stay out tonight?
Thomas: How could you kill a poor, defenseless animal? Angela! You're really starting to piss me off.
Steven Johnson: You know what? This crocodile's like O.J. Simpson. He messed up when he killed that white woman.
Ralf Coleman: Then you tell me what you'd call a man who's stupid enough to piss off a maniac with a fucking loaded gun?
Bob Maconel: I'd call him a maniac with his own fucking loaded gun.
Briony Tallis, aged 13: Cee?
Cecilia Tallis: Yes?
Briony Tallis, aged 13: Why don't you talk to Robbie anymore?
Cecilia Tallis: I do. We just move in different circles, that's all.
Bruce Campbell: You don't know fear, kid. You've never worked with Sam Raimi.
Lt. Robert Nunally: I warned you about him.
Willy Beachum: You warned me he was smart. You didn't warn me you were stupid.
Trudie: There may not be such a thing as a perfect job, a perfect life or a perfect family, but there is such a thing as a perfect moment. So I take back what I said. Doing one crazy thing probably does make you crazy, but it also can make you happy.
Marty Bach: We've got 600 attorneys here. We've got to find out who's an expert on psychiatric commitment statutes.
Michael Clayton: I can tell you who that is: Arthur.
Kate: I wish there was a cookbook for life, you know? Recipes telling us exactly what to do. I know, I know, you're gonna say "How else will you learn, Kate."
Therapist: Mm. No, actually I wasn't going to say that. You want to guess again?
Kate: No, no, go ahead.
Therapist: Well what I was going to say was, you know better than anyone, it's the recipes that you create yourself that are the best.
Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Fuck off.
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?
Stuart: Isn't it bad luck to toast with water?
Todd: Yeah. Bad luck for whoever meets us today.
Charley Ford: You think it's all made up don't ya? You think it's all yarns and newspaper stories.
Robert Ford: He's just a human being.
Adam Leavitt: Sir, not to beat a dead horse, but if there was ever a time for us to put boots on Saudi sand, I mean, don't you think this is it?
Janet Mayes: There's no way, Adam. They will never allow it.
Adam Leavitt: Then let's just ask.
Janet Mayes: The Saudi Royal Family cannot appear as if they're losing control. If they lose control of their country, lose control of the people, they risk losing control of the oil. And that's not going to happen.
Michael Moore: There are nearly 50 million Americans with no health insurance. They pray every day they don't get sick because 18,000 of them will die this year, simply because they're uninsured. But this movie isn't about them. It's about the 250 million of you who have health insurance. Those of you who are living the American Dream.