Allison Jimeno: How am I supposed to tell Bianca that her father is dead?
Dusty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.
Water Man: Go as you wish. That which is yours will always return to you. That which you take will always be taken from you.
Pipp Everett: Provost, he has knocked that woman out with his schlong!
Open Mic Host: We've got one spot left. You guys got any new material?
JB: What we got's gonna turn your brain into shit.
Steve-O: All right cast me out, goddammit.
Kristy: It's never too late to become what you might have been.
Nacho: I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
Whitey: So you're from up top, eh? I used to work in a laboratory up top. Yeah, big shampoo job. I was dark grey when we started. Still, it cleared up me dandruff.
Bill Robinson: We're all getting funerals - all three of us.
Helen Robinson: Bill, get your own funeral. Timmy and I are going zombie.
Hippy: We're going to stay here until we get the petition to save these trees.
Bert - Lumberjack Foreman: Yeah, and what is that petition made out of? Paper, you moron! Paper from trees.
Louis XVI: Ooooh! Your feet are like icicles.
Katherine "Katie" McLoughlin: Are you going to kill Flicka?
Rob McLaughlin: I'm just going to have a look at her, baby.
Katherine "Katie" McLoughlin: It's okay, Daddy. You can shoot us.
Ed Mills: When you were 11 years old, you became violent. You started seeing things. You started to hurt yourself. Doctor said we were lucky you didn't hit an artery. He said it was some kind of breakdown. You were a whole different girl after that Joanna. I couldn't control you, honey.
Joanna Mills: Control me? Dad, it is not normal for an 11 year old girl to cut herself. I was trying to tell you I needed help. I still.
Roy Washburn: What were you doing at 100 miles per hour?
Catherine Tramell: He was making me cum. And it was 110. We must've hit a pothole.
Roy Washburn: Kevin Franks died. You don't seem very worried.
Catherine Tramell: I'm devastated... I may never cum again.
HM Queen Elizabeth II: Nowadays people want glamor and tears, the grand performance. I've never been good at that.
Reverend Williams: The important thing about that freedom train, is it's got to climb mountains. We ALL have to climb mountains, you know. Mountains that go way up high, and mountains that go deep and low. Yes, we know what those mountains are here at Glide. We sing about them.