Ackerman: We'll have to dress it up a little. Disguise it. Give them enough reason to doubt it.
Professor Jules Hilbert: The last thing to determine conclusively is whether you're in a comedy or a tragedy.To quote Italo Calvino, "The ultimate meaning to which all stories refer has two faces: the continuity of life, the inevitability of death." Tragedy, you die. Comedy, you get hitched.
Lex Luthor: Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind.
Dev Saran: I love you, Maya. And you love me too.
Felix: The last time someone messed with my master, he was never seen or heard from again.
Derek: That's not true.
Felix: You're right, they did find a shoe.
Emily: I'm sorry, do you have some prior commitment? Some hideous skirt convention you have to go to?
Calvin: Baby, up up.
Victor: Now, I think we'd better go inside before we become a tourist attraction.
Doug Carlin: I'll speak slow, so those of you with Ph.D.'s in the room can understand.
Kevin Fischer: What's wrong?
Wendy Christensen: It's nothing. It's just that I'm going to be worrying about you every second while you're gone.
Kevin Fischer: Why would you worry about me? We don't even like each other, remember?
John Lyshitski: Under all the swastikas, he's a real prick.
Chev Chelios: Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.
Kee: Dylan. I'll call my baby Dylan. It's a girl's name, too.
Courtney Callum: I am not happy right now.
Brooke Taylor: Grant Taylor, I just want you to know that you've made a team.
Grant Taylor: What team?
Brooke Taylor: The daddy team.
Peter Evans: I am the drone.
Agnes White: I am the mother queen.
[Finds Barbie at a yard sale.]
Borat: Is this the owner of the house? Did you shrink her? Please Gypsy lady don't shrink me, I just want your tears.