Ryuuk: Who the hell told you you could lean on me?
David Carver: Don't hurt her.
Collie Entragian: Son, I will put a stick through your mother, and spin her around til she catches fire, if I so desire! And you cannot stop me, and I'll come back for you.
Karan: Dad, please don't start this lecture.
Rajnath Singhania: SMS Generation! Say four lines, and they call it a lecture.
Possessed Radio: Don't even fuck with commodities. They're just gonna get you in trouble.
Templeton: Have you seen the pig next door? I think his mama was part hippo. If I had to name five of the fattest pigs I've ever seen, he'd be three of them.
Donna D. Logand: The hell of it is, is you're only as loved as you think you are.
Tom Dobbs: If Mama Cass had shared a lunch with Karen Carpenter, both would still be alive today... What do I think of gay marriage? I believe gays have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.
Puchi: Hector always knew he was gonna make it. It was like he was prepared for it.
Jack Starbright: Is it just me or are those bankers weird?
Martha Beck: You know what they say about cops and donuts?
Charles Hilderbrandt: No, what?
Martha Beck: Neither one's any good without a hole in them.
Charles Hilderbrandt: They say that about women, too.
Chief Jesse Stone: He probably wouldn't be the town hero if he were ugly.
Lilly Summers: Well that's cynical.
Chief Jesse Stone: I prefer observant.
Lilly Summers: And being observant would make you cynical, wouldn't it?
Chief Jesse Stone: You seem observant.
Lilly Summers: I try.
Chief Jesse Stone: But you don't seem cynical.
Lilly Summers: Well, I'm in the hope business.
Male Receptionist: You made me want to be a woman.
Him: I have that effect on people.
Bruno: I owe this guy from 3 years ago. I took my kid to the hospital, all bruised up. Fuckers thought I'd beat up on him. This guy tells the cops it wasn't me, my kid's a haemophiliac. As long as he needs us, we're there, okay?
Trish: Time for your bath.
Dan: The only constant is change.
Bill Cox: You designed the software, you find me a way in.
Jack Stanfield: I wouldn't know where to start.
Malcolm Moore: You know you're an idiot, right?
Sean Porter: I'm making progress. I used to be an asshole.
Leslie Vernon: I don't keep pets that I can't eat.
Christie Allen: Look at this. They've been monitoring everything we do.
Tina Armstrong: Jeez, bunch of pervs.